Finishing off the last morning support I glanced up at the clock on the wall. 11:14am and a handful of seconds. I waited. Counting the seconds. 11:15am. I leaned back in my chair to peer out the door. They were coming. Some limping, others with dazed looks of confusion. Each one had their unique story but all were victims of PRT, post-recess trauma.
Reuben, slight bump on the head, normal pupil dialation, no headache, cot 1, observation.
Alicia, skinned left knee and bloody right elbow, superficial wounds, antiseptic, bandaids, back to class.
Rhonda, swollen left ankle, still supports weight, nothing broken, cot 2, ace bandage.
And on and on the wave continued. Soon the cots were filled up and the press of bodies coming through the door diminished. The last to enter the ward was Cindy, supported by two of her class mates. As she approached she favored her right leg. She seem not to be in too much pain and her leg was supporting most of her weight. It was not broken.
"Cindy, what happened to you at recess today?" I queried.
“I was doing flips on the monkey bars. I'm learning to do gymnastics and I am going to be a famous gymnast!” she exclaimed with excitement followed by a small groan to emphasize the injury she took in her quest for gold.
Further examination of her leg told me it was just a little sprain and she would be fine. My office was filled up with mostly kindergarteners and first graders so I asked the brave PRT sufferers a question.
“Do you know what a gymnast is?”
As always the children were ready to show their vast knowledge of any subject.
The boy that was helping Cindy volunteered right away, “I think it’s a clown.”
The girl next to her said, “No, it’s a Doctor.”
Another girl offered, “A flipper.”
Another girl, “A girl who does tricks.”
Boy, “It’s playing soccer for boys and girls.”
Boy, “It’s for you to work out and run.”
Girl, “It’s like a bump on your eye.”
Girl, “Some of them are like bumps all over.”
Boy, “People that do stuff like thinking.”
Girl, “No, people that bend in half and stand on their heads.”
The last answer came from a chubby little boy in the corner, “Maybe it’s a snack.”
And so ended my wave of PRT victims. Hmmmm.... I think it is just about time for lunch.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Oh Christmas Tree
Little Robert from Mrs. Smith's first grade class came into my office looking very concerned. "Nurse, I'm sick." He told me, in a very matter of fact voice. "I have to get better fer Christmas. I'm not done shopping yet. I only bought a tree."
"Well, what is wrong?" I asked calling him towards my desk. He didn't appear too sick at first glance.
"My head is drying up !", he said looking more worried as he put both hands on his head very lightly.
I took his temperature as he kept trying to tell me that his head was drying up. "Your temperature is normal Robert." Looking at his hairdo I couldn't help but wonder if he just put too much hair gel on this morning. It was all spiked up and looked pretty stiff.
I tried to take his mind off of his dried up head. "Tell me what your tree is like?" I asked.
That seemed to perk him up, "Oh, I put a star on the tree, a big ball, a candy cane." he said very excitedly. "And a Christmas ball and red, blue, orange, yellow and violet red lights. It's a real tree." he continued.
Another boy overheard our conversation and came running over to proudly annouce, "I chopped down our Christmas tree with a big hammer and my Dad helped me."
"Oh my, that sounds like fun." I said. "Where did you go to chop down the tree?" I asked regretting that question as soon as it came out of my mouth.
"We snuck into someone’s yard that lives down the street." he whispered. "They have lots of trees and my Dad said they could spare one. He told me to be very quiet."
Sometimes kids give you more information then you really want to know. I quickly ushered both boys back to class. As I sat at my desk I daydreamed of the days when I was his age and my Dad went out to the woods to chop down our Christmas Tree. It was always the perfect tree. I thought a little harder and then smiled. No, I don't remember seeing any freshly cut stumps in any of our neighbors yards.
"Well, what is wrong?" I asked calling him towards my desk. He didn't appear too sick at first glance.
"My head is drying up !", he said looking more worried as he put both hands on his head very lightly.
I took his temperature as he kept trying to tell me that his head was drying up. "Your temperature is normal Robert." Looking at his hairdo I couldn't help but wonder if he just put too much hair gel on this morning. It was all spiked up and looked pretty stiff.
I tried to take his mind off of his dried up head. "Tell me what your tree is like?" I asked.
That seemed to perk him up, "Oh, I put a star on the tree, a big ball, a candy cane." he said very excitedly. "And a Christmas ball and red, blue, orange, yellow and violet red lights. It's a real tree." he continued.
Another boy overheard our conversation and came running over to proudly annouce, "I chopped down our Christmas tree with a big hammer and my Dad helped me."
"Oh my, that sounds like fun." I said. "Where did you go to chop down the tree?" I asked regretting that question as soon as it came out of my mouth.
"We snuck into someone’s yard that lives down the street." he whispered. "They have lots of trees and my Dad said they could spare one. He told me to be very quiet."
Sometimes kids give you more information then you really want to know. I quickly ushered both boys back to class. As I sat at my desk I daydreamed of the days when I was his age and my Dad went out to the woods to chop down our Christmas Tree. It was always the perfect tree. I thought a little harder and then smiled. No, I don't remember seeing any freshly cut stumps in any of our neighbors yards.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Better to Give then Receive
The holiday spirit hits people of all ages. I asked the kids today what they are going to get their Mom and Dad for Christmas.
**** First Grader kids ****
For Mom: “I'm getting her hardy shoes. They make tattoos to stick on those shoes.”
For Dad: “My Dad's not in the mood for shoe stuff like that.”
For Mom: “-I'm giving my Mom a souvenier from school.”
For Dad: “I'm giving my Dad money to buy a motorcycle.” I asked him how much money he was going to give his Dad. He replied “I have 50 money saved up fer him.”
**** Kindergarten Kids ****
For Mom: “A tissue box fer cleaning her nose.”
For Dad: “A wheel pumper cause he says his car wheel always goes down when he's sleeping.”
For Mom: “A flower, a rose flower.”
For Dad: “Nuthin! Only maybe just a card cause he hollared at me yesterday fer nuthin.”
For Mom: “A Christmas sock.”
For Dad: “A lollipop.”
For Mom: “Socks.”
For Dad: “Socks.”
For Mom: “Healthy cereal.”
For Dad: “Junk food cereal.”
For Mom: “Green sparkle nail polish.”
For Dad: “A pencil that won't break so he can get some work done.”
For Mom: “A diamond sparkling ring.”
For Dad: “A watch with turtles on it fer work. I saw it in Walmart. He's gonna like my present.”
**** First Grader kids ****
For Mom: “I'm getting her hardy shoes. They make tattoos to stick on those shoes.”
For Dad: “My Dad's not in the mood for shoe stuff like that.”
For Mom: “-I'm giving my Mom a souvenier from school.”
For Dad: “I'm giving my Dad money to buy a motorcycle.” I asked him how much money he was going to give his Dad. He replied “I have 50 money saved up fer him.”
**** Kindergarten Kids ****
For Mom: “A tissue box fer cleaning her nose.”
For Dad: “A wheel pumper cause he says his car wheel always goes down when he's sleeping.”
For Mom: “A flower, a rose flower.”
For Dad: “Nuthin! Only maybe just a card cause he hollared at me yesterday fer nuthin.”
For Mom: “A Christmas sock.”
For Dad: “A lollipop.”
For Mom: “Socks.”
For Dad: “Socks.”
For Mom: “Healthy cereal.”
For Dad: “Junk food cereal.”
For Mom: “Green sparkle nail polish.”
For Dad: “A pencil that won't break so he can get some work done.”
For Mom: “A diamond sparkling ring.”
For Dad: “A watch with turtles on it fer work. I saw it in Walmart. He's gonna like my present.”
I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
When my day is slow I always enjoy a visit to the lunch room. The mood and antics of the kids are guided by the daily menu items. Today the culinary experience was hotdogs. All the little kids were munching away on their lunch fare. Most of the hotdogs were first ripped free of their buns then peeled or shredded before being dipped in ketchup with reckless abandon. The wheat buns, albeit nutritious, were described as “brown and nasty”. Perhaps they looked too much like the crust on white bread which kids so often reject.
Food not eaten often becomes the focus of play. I watched as industrious little hands rolled all sizes of wheat bun marbles. For the most part the wheat bun marbles were rolled around the lunch table or back and forth between the groups of kids. Soon this game became a bit dull and wheat bun marbles started flying through the air. I asked myself, does this happen when I am not around, or am I the catalyst for such events? The cafeteria monitor, lifting an accusatory eyebrow at me, was quick to crack down on the missile launchers. The culprits were shuffled off to sit at tables by themselves pointing fingers and blaming others the whole way.
After the monitor left the rest of the little kids giggled. As penance for something I did not start but for which I was indirectly blamed, I sat down with the group to explain table manners.
One little boy replied to my lecture, “Doctor, I am a good boy. I don’t hurt no one with those brown balls.”
“That’s a nurse,” corrected a girl. “We call her nurse not doctor. Nurse, he’s new in class. We have to show him everything cause he’s a boy.”
I then made the fatal move in our verbal chess match. “Well boys are pretty smart,” I replied.
The table erupted with girl versus boy rhetoric, who’s smarter, who’s stronger. I glanced over my shoulder to check the location of the cafeteria monitor. She was off on the other side of the room. I made a quick exit from the group discussion I started before blame once again fell upon me.
Five tables away, a safe enough distance from the escalading debate I had started, I sat down with another group of kids. These kids were all business at this table. Hotdogs were being consumed and the consensus was that they were really good. I did a quick survey. I asked the kids if they knew how hotdogs were made.
Girl: “They role chicken up.”
Girl: “I think they put popcorn in them.”
Boy; “I don't know about that stuff yet.”
Girl: “I think there is something that comes outta trees thats in them.”
Boy: “There's pork in them from the chickens.”
Boy: “Do they make any with candy?”
Girl: “No, I think its all good stuff.”
Boy: “I wish I could eat hot dogs every day and try all kinds of them.”
The girl versus boy debate was now three tables away and moving in my direction. Staying low to the ground, under the cafeteria monitor’s radar, I head for a side exit. I was no longer hungry for a hotdog today.
Food not eaten often becomes the focus of play. I watched as industrious little hands rolled all sizes of wheat bun marbles. For the most part the wheat bun marbles were rolled around the lunch table or back and forth between the groups of kids. Soon this game became a bit dull and wheat bun marbles started flying through the air. I asked myself, does this happen when I am not around, or am I the catalyst for such events? The cafeteria monitor, lifting an accusatory eyebrow at me, was quick to crack down on the missile launchers. The culprits were shuffled off to sit at tables by themselves pointing fingers and blaming others the whole way.
After the monitor left the rest of the little kids giggled. As penance for something I did not start but for which I was indirectly blamed, I sat down with the group to explain table manners.
One little boy replied to my lecture, “Doctor, I am a good boy. I don’t hurt no one with those brown balls.”
“That’s a nurse,” corrected a girl. “We call her nurse not doctor. Nurse, he’s new in class. We have to show him everything cause he’s a boy.”
I then made the fatal move in our verbal chess match. “Well boys are pretty smart,” I replied.
The table erupted with girl versus boy rhetoric, who’s smarter, who’s stronger. I glanced over my shoulder to check the location of the cafeteria monitor. She was off on the other side of the room. I made a quick exit from the group discussion I started before blame once again fell upon me.
Five tables away, a safe enough distance from the escalading debate I had started, I sat down with another group of kids. These kids were all business at this table. Hotdogs were being consumed and the consensus was that they were really good. I did a quick survey. I asked the kids if they knew how hotdogs were made.
Girl: “They role chicken up.”
Girl: “I think they put popcorn in them.”
Boy; “I don't know about that stuff yet.”
Girl: “I think there is something that comes outta trees thats in them.”
Boy: “There's pork in them from the chickens.”
Boy: “Do they make any with candy?”
Girl: “No, I think its all good stuff.”
Boy: “I wish I could eat hot dogs every day and try all kinds of them.”
The girl versus boy debate was now three tables away and moving in my direction. Staying low to the ground, under the cafeteria monitor’s radar, I head for a side exit. I was no longer hungry for a hotdog today.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Dizzy Gillespie
When kids come into my office and say they are dizzy. I always ask them to explain how they feel since kids often use that term very loosely. I had a little boy laying on the cot and a group of kindergarteners entered. One girl asked the boy on the cot what was wrong and he said he was dizzy. So I started questioning the group to see if they knew what dizzy meant.
Girl: “It is when my head hurts.”
Boy: “Too much spinning around. You don’t know where you are going.”
Boy: “It means YIKES!”
Boy: “I’m not really smart, I don’t know anything that big.”
Girl: “When people are taking too much. Your head moves back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.”
Girl: “My mom gets dizzy a lot. My Dad said she is dizzy. I hope I don’t get it.”
Boy: “When you’re dizzy it means you can’t sit up straight.”
Girl: “I saw someone dizzy one time. They were holding their head and said a bad word.”
Boy: “Dizzy means you go up and down.”
Girl: “It is when my head hurts.”
Boy: “Too much spinning around. You don’t know where you are going.”
Boy: “It means YIKES!”
Boy: “I’m not really smart, I don’t know anything that big.”
Girl: “When people are taking too much. Your head moves back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.”
Girl: “My mom gets dizzy a lot. My Dad said she is dizzy. I hope I don’t get it.”
Boy: “When you’re dizzy it means you can’t sit up straight.”
Girl: “I saw someone dizzy one time. They were holding their head and said a bad word.”
Boy: “Dizzy means you go up and down.”
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
You Can't Eat Just One
Sometimes problems have a way of resolving themselves with little to no intervention on my part. Kyle, a first grader, entered my office crying just a little after lunch. I turned my head every so slightly to meet his watery eyes.
“I had a big sandwich,” he articulated through his sobs. “I ate it all. It was a plain dry sandwich and now I have a stomach ache!”
I shifted in my seat, barely leaning forward.
“Yesterday Derek karate chopped my nose, it is still puffed up. My lips are dried up. I’m a mess, that’s what someone told me.”
I gave a thoughtful glance to his nose but otherwise remained still.
“I wanna go home cause I miss my family. I told my family to buy me some medicine. I’ll just watch TV.
I blinked to acknowledge his dilemma.
“Now my nose is running too. I really think I should go home.” He paused slightly to be sure he included everything, “I sneeze sometimes too.”
As parted my lips to start my reply Kyle glanced at my desk spying a small bag of potato chips. This distracted his prior litany of ailments.
“Can I have some chips, please?”
A slight nod from me and he was on the bag of chips. Sasha, recovering from a brush burn on her knee on cot 1, was taking in this one sided conversation. She got up and came over to my desk eyeing the bag of chips and Kyle alternately.
“Can I have one too?”
Kyle offered her the bag and they both polished off the remaining chips. She then moved closer and stared at Kyle’s nose.
“His nose don’t look puffy to me Nurse,” she said. “It’s recess, we probably should get going.”
With a slight nod from me they were out of the door and headed for the playground. I rose from chair to stretch, stiff from sitting so still. Perhaps I’ll go on line and see about ordering a life size cardboard cut out of my self.
“I had a big sandwich,” he articulated through his sobs. “I ate it all. It was a plain dry sandwich and now I have a stomach ache!”
I shifted in my seat, barely leaning forward.
“Yesterday Derek karate chopped my nose, it is still puffed up. My lips are dried up. I’m a mess, that’s what someone told me.”
I gave a thoughtful glance to his nose but otherwise remained still.
“I wanna go home cause I miss my family. I told my family to buy me some medicine. I’ll just watch TV.
I blinked to acknowledge his dilemma.
“Now my nose is running too. I really think I should go home.” He paused slightly to be sure he included everything, “I sneeze sometimes too.”
As parted my lips to start my reply Kyle glanced at my desk spying a small bag of potato chips. This distracted his prior litany of ailments.
“Can I have some chips, please?”
A slight nod from me and he was on the bag of chips. Sasha, recovering from a brush burn on her knee on cot 1, was taking in this one sided conversation. She got up and came over to my desk eyeing the bag of chips and Kyle alternately.
“Can I have one too?”
Kyle offered her the bag and they both polished off the remaining chips. She then moved closer and stared at Kyle’s nose.
“His nose don’t look puffy to me Nurse,” she said. “It’s recess, we probably should get going.”
With a slight nod from me they were out of the door and headed for the playground. I rose from chair to stretch, stiff from sitting so still. Perhaps I’ll go on line and see about ordering a life size cardboard cut out of my self.
Friday, December 5, 2008
State of Mind
You never know what to expect right after lunch. The best you can do is to finish your light entree on the early side of the lunch period and then spend the remaining time in deep meditation. I prefer the vipassana technique. I was enlightened by this technique on a soul searching journey in the mountains of Tibet (ok, so I googled it and watch a youtube video on the technique, same difference). The goal is to steel your mind for what is to come….
I was just surfacing from my meditative state and uncurling my body from the lotus position when I heard the hurried steps coming towards my office. With one last deep breath I awoke my senses fully to the smell of band-aids and cough syrup as the two second grade boys burst into my office.
“Jimmy pooped in the cafeteria!” Randall reporting loudly for everyone to hear.
“No! No I didn’t,” Jimmy rebuffed the allegation. “I puked cause I was eating to fast! I’m Ok, I’m OK. Nurse, it’s time for recess. Kin I go now?”
Randall would have no part of this explanation. “He pooped in the garbage can! When they empty it they’ll know it cause it smelt like poop.”
“Did not, did not,” Randall continued his defense. “Someone was spittin in their hands so I puked. I’m OK now. Kin I go to recess?”
“You puked, maybe I should take your temperature.” I said.
“Please Nurse, I’m missin recess. I’m no allowed to miss recess or I’ll get a failure on my report!”
I didn’t want to be responsible for a failure. Whether it was poop or puke that ended up in that garbage can he looked fine to me. I said go to recess and he and his prosecutorial friend went running off, all smiles, like the wind.
That little scene depleted more steel from my mind then I thought. Let’s see, assume lotus position, head back, eyes closed, ummmmmmmmmmmm……..
I was just surfacing from my meditative state and uncurling my body from the lotus position when I heard the hurried steps coming towards my office. With one last deep breath I awoke my senses fully to the smell of band-aids and cough syrup as the two second grade boys burst into my office.
“Jimmy pooped in the cafeteria!” Randall reporting loudly for everyone to hear.
“No! No I didn’t,” Jimmy rebuffed the allegation. “I puked cause I was eating to fast! I’m Ok, I’m OK. Nurse, it’s time for recess. Kin I go now?”
Randall would have no part of this explanation. “He pooped in the garbage can! When they empty it they’ll know it cause it smelt like poop.”
“Did not, did not,” Randall continued his defense. “Someone was spittin in their hands so I puked. I’m OK now. Kin I go to recess?”
“You puked, maybe I should take your temperature.” I said.
“Please Nurse, I’m missin recess. I’m no allowed to miss recess or I’ll get a failure on my report!”
I didn’t want to be responsible for a failure. Whether it was poop or puke that ended up in that garbage can he looked fine to me. I said go to recess and he and his prosecutorial friend went running off, all smiles, like the wind.
That little scene depleted more steel from my mind then I thought. Let’s see, assume lotus position, head back, eyes closed, ummmmmmmmmmmm……..
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thanksgiving Hangover
Thanksgiving break is over and the kids have been pouring into my office with the after effects of a long break, no sleep! Yesterday three first grade boys came to pay me a visit.
Eli tugged at my shirt sleeve, “Nurse, nurse, I want to tell you a story. In my class there’s this kid see, and I was gonna tell him something. And he punched me in the mouth and my tooth flew out on to the floor!” He slugged at the air to emphasize the force of the upper cut that took out his tooth.
“You poor dear,” I said. “Where is your tooth now?”
“In my backpack,” Eli said pointing to his back. “I’m keeping it extra safe for the tooth fairy. But nurse, I want to know if I can eat without my tooth?”
A quick survey of his mouth showed one of his front teeth missing. “I don’t think you will have any problem eating Eli. Just try to stay away from candy until that tooth grows back.” OK, so I couldn’t help but embellish a little with the candy bit. His face was priceless when he digested that news.
“Who was the boy that hit you Eli?” I asked.
“I did nurse!” Timothy exclaimed. “I punched him cause he talks to much.”
Holden did not seem very impressed by this incident. He looked at me and asked, “How as your vacation Nurse Ehop?”
Thankful for the interruption I answered, “It was very nice, thank you for asking Holden. How was your vacation?”
“I went to Myjami on vacation, to eat turkey!” he said. “It was cold there and when I came home I got a cough and I ain’t eatin turkey no more!”
My office was packed with kids by this time. They all jumped into the conversation to enlighten me about their Thanksgiving culinary delights.
“I didn’t eat turkey, I ate ham,” said one boy.
Someone in the back shouted, “I had chicken, vice and ham.”
“I ate six turkeys,” an older boy said sitting up very straight and proud.
A little girl chimed in, “I had mashed potatoes with whipped cream on it!” This brought forth several ohs and ahs from the crowd.
Now the commentary from the group started to come fast and furious!
“We had chicken, ice tea and a pin-apple.”
“I ate only one turkey but it had peas and broccoli and mash potatoes and eggs in it.”
“I had a very nice turkey. It was nice and brown and no bones on it. It was very big.”
“How big was it?” asked a boy.
“As big as a horse!” came the response.
“My turkey didn’t look brown. It didn’t look nice at all. YUK! And I had to eat it too.” exclaimed a boy. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and pretended to eat to show us all how he ate the turkey that was not brown. “Then I had lots of chocolate milk to wash it down!” he continued. “My Mom said she was going to make soup out of the leftover turkey and I would have to eat that too!”
“I hope you have more chocolate milk at home.” said a little girl wide eyed.
It was time to break up the gathering and get the kids back to class. I shooed them along their way and told them to concentrate on their studies. Besides, it was time for lunch and, oh no, a turkey sandwich.
Eli tugged at my shirt sleeve, “Nurse, nurse, I want to tell you a story. In my class there’s this kid see, and I was gonna tell him something. And he punched me in the mouth and my tooth flew out on to the floor!” He slugged at the air to emphasize the force of the upper cut that took out his tooth.
“You poor dear,” I said. “Where is your tooth now?”
“In my backpack,” Eli said pointing to his back. “I’m keeping it extra safe for the tooth fairy. But nurse, I want to know if I can eat without my tooth?”
A quick survey of his mouth showed one of his front teeth missing. “I don’t think you will have any problem eating Eli. Just try to stay away from candy until that tooth grows back.” OK, so I couldn’t help but embellish a little with the candy bit. His face was priceless when he digested that news.
“Who was the boy that hit you Eli?” I asked.
“I did nurse!” Timothy exclaimed. “I punched him cause he talks to much.”
Holden did not seem very impressed by this incident. He looked at me and asked, “How as your vacation Nurse Ehop?”
Thankful for the interruption I answered, “It was very nice, thank you for asking Holden. How was your vacation?”
“I went to Myjami on vacation, to eat turkey!” he said. “It was cold there and when I came home I got a cough and I ain’t eatin turkey no more!”
My office was packed with kids by this time. They all jumped into the conversation to enlighten me about their Thanksgiving culinary delights.
“I didn’t eat turkey, I ate ham,” said one boy.
Someone in the back shouted, “I had chicken, vice and ham.”
“I ate six turkeys,” an older boy said sitting up very straight and proud.
A little girl chimed in, “I had mashed potatoes with whipped cream on it!” This brought forth several ohs and ahs from the crowd.
Now the commentary from the group started to come fast and furious!
“We had chicken, ice tea and a pin-apple.”
“I ate only one turkey but it had peas and broccoli and mash potatoes and eggs in it.”
“I had a very nice turkey. It was nice and brown and no bones on it. It was very big.”
“How big was it?” asked a boy.
“As big as a horse!” came the response.
“My turkey didn’t look brown. It didn’t look nice at all. YUK! And I had to eat it too.” exclaimed a boy. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and pretended to eat to show us all how he ate the turkey that was not brown. “Then I had lots of chocolate milk to wash it down!” he continued. “My Mom said she was going to make soup out of the leftover turkey and I would have to eat that too!”
“I hope you have more chocolate milk at home.” said a little girl wide eyed.
It was time to break up the gathering and get the kids back to class. I shooed them along their way and told them to concentrate on their studies. Besides, it was time for lunch and, oh no, a turkey sandwich.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
It's Friday morning. As I came into my office I saw a group of kindergarteners marching down the hall towards me. A quick glance and no one appeared to have a stomach ache, headache or even a scratch. "Where are you kids headed this morning?" I inquired hoping it was not my office for a mass outbreak of the flu.
"We are going to the library to read books," the little girl in the front of the line announced.
"My, what beautiful earrings you are wearing today," I admired seeing little sparkling dots in her ears. Little girls love to dress up and wear jewelry and they especially love when you compliment them on what they are wearing. I could see that she was immediately pleased that I noticed her earrings as her face beamed with a huge smile. It was blinding even with the two front teeth missing.
"My earrings are diamonds," she proudly declared tilting her head slightly so the rest of the children in line could see them. "My mom bought them for me at K-Mart."
The little girl behind her quickly moved in front and pushed her hair back behind her ears as she revealed, "My earrings are diamond hearts, hearts mean valentines."
The boy beside her scrunched his nose at this. "What is that?" he asked with a grimace on his face. I could tell he wanted no part of this diamonds and hearts business. He definitely has alot to learn I smiled to myself.
By now the other children in line started to gather around me wanting to join in on the show and tell session that I unintentionally started this morning.
"My mom wear diamonds around here," one little girl chimed in as she excitedly wound her hand around her wrist where a bracelet would be worn.
"I had one earring that got cut off by my sister's window," shouted a little boy pointing to his ear obviously explaining why he didn't have earrings.
Another little boy spoke up, "I wear a purple necklace. It has black balls." I chuckled to myself as I glanced at his neck and saw the necklace was not part of his attire this morning. Part of me was a little disappointed not able to see what this necklace must look like.
"OK children," I said wondering how the conversation went from diamonds to black balls. I was curious to see if they knew the difference. "Do you know what diamonds are?"
Immediately hands raised in the group as the children were excited to share their knowledge.
"I know about diamonds," a little boy called out. "They are just gold. They look like diamond on a pinto."
Another boy quickly chimed in, "A diamond is a sticker, like on a bowl. You find them in caves when there's a treasure in them." He then very animatedly demonstrated as he put hands together holding an imaginary tool and vigrously pumped his arms up and down. "You have to pound them to get them out."
"Diamonds come from stores," a little girl disagreed. "They build them and paint them."
Another little girl had a different opinion, "You can find them at the playground. Then you have to wash them off in the bath tub."
Finally one little girl in the back of the group spoke up quietly stating what we women have assumed for hundreds of years. "Nurse, I know where diamonds come from." She paused to make sure she had the attention of the whole group. "They grow on trees."
"We are going to the library to read books," the little girl in the front of the line announced.
"My, what beautiful earrings you are wearing today," I admired seeing little sparkling dots in her ears. Little girls love to dress up and wear jewelry and they especially love when you compliment them on what they are wearing. I could see that she was immediately pleased that I noticed her earrings as her face beamed with a huge smile. It was blinding even with the two front teeth missing.
"My earrings are diamonds," she proudly declared tilting her head slightly so the rest of the children in line could see them. "My mom bought them for me at K-Mart."
The little girl behind her quickly moved in front and pushed her hair back behind her ears as she revealed, "My earrings are diamond hearts, hearts mean valentines."
The boy beside her scrunched his nose at this. "What is that?" he asked with a grimace on his face. I could tell he wanted no part of this diamonds and hearts business. He definitely has alot to learn I smiled to myself.
By now the other children in line started to gather around me wanting to join in on the show and tell session that I unintentionally started this morning.
"My mom wear diamonds around here," one little girl chimed in as she excitedly wound her hand around her wrist where a bracelet would be worn.
"I had one earring that got cut off by my sister's window," shouted a little boy pointing to his ear obviously explaining why he didn't have earrings.
Another little boy spoke up, "I wear a purple necklace. It has black balls." I chuckled to myself as I glanced at his neck and saw the necklace was not part of his attire this morning. Part of me was a little disappointed not able to see what this necklace must look like.
"OK children," I said wondering how the conversation went from diamonds to black balls. I was curious to see if they knew the difference. "Do you know what diamonds are?"
Immediately hands raised in the group as the children were excited to share their knowledge.
"I know about diamonds," a little boy called out. "They are just gold. They look like diamond on a pinto."
Another boy quickly chimed in, "A diamond is a sticker, like on a bowl. You find them in caves when there's a treasure in them." He then very animatedly demonstrated as he put hands together holding an imaginary tool and vigrously pumped his arms up and down. "You have to pound them to get them out."
"Diamonds come from stores," a little girl disagreed. "They build them and paint them."
Another little girl had a different opinion, "You can find them at the playground. Then you have to wash them off in the bath tub."
Finally one little girl in the back of the group spoke up quietly stating what we women have assumed for hundreds of years. "Nurse, I know where diamonds come from." She paused to make sure she had the attention of the whole group. "They grow on trees."
Thursday, November 20, 2008
One FLU Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Sometimes I’m not sure if I am the one losing my mind or perhaps the kids that visit me lose their minds.
Cold and flu season is well under way. The entrance to my office is a revolving door of ill kids. Most kids are quick to identify a major symptom from which I can make a determination whether to send the kid home or back to class. Just when my day falls into a steady rhythm symptom/diagnosis, the anomaly walks into my office. Today it was Benson, a first grade boy.
“I have a fever,” volunteer Benson. “And I’m coughing.” He furrowed his brow, thought a moment and continued, “I have a fever. I have everything.” He threw his hands up to indicate he was helplessly sick.
“Oh dear,” I comforted him. “Let me take your temperature.”
As I directed him to cot number five he apparently was not done with his symptoms. “Same thing I had the last time I was here, that’s when I had red eyes. I had a lot of dust on me then.” Pointing to his eyes and brushing off some unseen dust he came to the point, “I get more sick and more sick!”
“Did your Mom give you any medicine this morning?” I enquired.
“I had nasty medicine this morning,” Benson replied wrinkling his nose. “I have a stomach ache, a headache, a stuffy nose and my arm and leg hurt.”
This may be one for the medical journals I thought. I was absolutely sure he was done with his symptom list. But no, he as not, he was after all…. The Anomaly!
“I can’t talk well,” he continued on. “And I can’t move well, and that’s it Nurse.”
He took a deep breath finally and I aimed the thermometer for his mouth. Almost there, steady I thought to myself, steady girl.
Benson turned his head quickly away from my aim and added, “Oh, yeah, and I don’t walk to good with my shoes on!”
Before he could shut his mouth my expert training hit the mark. The thermometer was wedged under his tongue and I bade him not to speak until I removed the instrument. Sitting back I thought a moment. Please let there be but one Anomaly today!
Cold and flu season is well under way. The entrance to my office is a revolving door of ill kids. Most kids are quick to identify a major symptom from which I can make a determination whether to send the kid home or back to class. Just when my day falls into a steady rhythm symptom/diagnosis, the anomaly walks into my office. Today it was Benson, a first grade boy.
“I have a fever,” volunteer Benson. “And I’m coughing.” He furrowed his brow, thought a moment and continued, “I have a fever. I have everything.” He threw his hands up to indicate he was helplessly sick.
“Oh dear,” I comforted him. “Let me take your temperature.”
As I directed him to cot number five he apparently was not done with his symptoms. “Same thing I had the last time I was here, that’s when I had red eyes. I had a lot of dust on me then.” Pointing to his eyes and brushing off some unseen dust he came to the point, “I get more sick and more sick!”
“Did your Mom give you any medicine this morning?” I enquired.
“I had nasty medicine this morning,” Benson replied wrinkling his nose. “I have a stomach ache, a headache, a stuffy nose and my arm and leg hurt.”
This may be one for the medical journals I thought. I was absolutely sure he was done with his symptom list. But no, he as not, he was after all…. The Anomaly!
“I can’t talk well,” he continued on. “And I can’t move well, and that’s it Nurse.”
He took a deep breath finally and I aimed the thermometer for his mouth. Almost there, steady I thought to myself, steady girl.
Benson turned his head quickly away from my aim and added, “Oh, yeah, and I don’t walk to good with my shoes on!”
Before he could shut his mouth my expert training hit the mark. The thermometer was wedged under his tongue and I bade him not to speak until I removed the instrument. Sitting back I thought a moment. Please let there be but one Anomaly today!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
What is the State of Florida
It is never too late to properly learn about U.S. geography from a group of kindergarteners. You will simply be amazed as to how much you really do not know!
This morning a group of energetic kindergarteners came to my office. We sat around and chatted. I ask them what they were learning about today in class.
“We are learning about the country,” said one little girl.
“The country is a very big subject. Do any of you know the states that make up the country?” I asked.
“Alaska!” one girl spoke up enthusiastically.
“Excellent,” I said thinking this was one smart group of kiddos.
“Tampa,” chimed in one little boy. “Only seventeen people live there and they have a lot of sky scrapers.”
“Pennsylvania,” yelled a little girl. “The people who live there work with boxes.” She added all knowingly.
From the back of the group came, “Mexico, there are not that much people there though.”
“New Mexico,” added another young lad. “But I don’t know why they call it that.”
“Puerto Rico!” someone chimed in, my head now spinning in all directions to keep up with the tidal wave of knowledge.
“South Pole and North Pole,” a girl continued. “In the winter the plants die and about ninety people live there.”
“Atlantis is the biggest one and Hawaii is the smallest one!” sagely stated one child in the front.
Then a little girl stunned the group into silence with this omniscious insight, “Australia is like a little forest with animals. Artists work there and plants die and animals migrate to Florida.”
As the silence unfolded the academic frenzy dissipated from the capsules of knowledge sitting around me. Their faces content with their show of scholastic abilities. The bell rang. The spell broke. The kids left. Tonight, tonight I thought to myself. Let there be a Daily Double under US Geography for $1000.
This morning a group of energetic kindergarteners came to my office. We sat around and chatted. I ask them what they were learning about today in class.
“We are learning about the country,” said one little girl.
“The country is a very big subject. Do any of you know the states that make up the country?” I asked.
“Alaska!” one girl spoke up enthusiastically.
“Excellent,” I said thinking this was one smart group of kiddos.
“Tampa,” chimed in one little boy. “Only seventeen people live there and they have a lot of sky scrapers.”
“Pennsylvania,” yelled a little girl. “The people who live there work with boxes.” She added all knowingly.
From the back of the group came, “Mexico, there are not that much people there though.”
“New Mexico,” added another young lad. “But I don’t know why they call it that.”
“Puerto Rico!” someone chimed in, my head now spinning in all directions to keep up with the tidal wave of knowledge.
“South Pole and North Pole,” a girl continued. “In the winter the plants die and about ninety people live there.”
“Atlantis is the biggest one and Hawaii is the smallest one!” sagely stated one child in the front.
Then a little girl stunned the group into silence with this omniscious insight, “Australia is like a little forest with animals. Artists work there and plants die and animals migrate to Florida.”
As the silence unfolded the academic frenzy dissipated from the capsules of knowledge sitting around me. Their faces content with their show of scholastic abilities. The bell rang. The spell broke. The kids left. Tonight, tonight I thought to myself. Let there be a Daily Double under US Geography for $1000.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Gobble the Gobbler
A gaggle of kindergarten kids were in and out today with various problems; little cuts on fingers, stomach aches, fell down at PE, etc. I talked to them about Thanksgiving and asked them about the turkey and what part of the turkey they liked the best.
Boy: “I like the chicken part best.”
Boy: “I do not know but the chicken legs I like.”
Girl: “I like the potatoes of the turkey.”
Girl: “I just like the regular steak.”
Girl: “My mom puts olives and gravy on the turkey and I eat the bones in front.”
Boy: “My mom puts vinegar on the turkey then puts it in the oven. I like the whole body.”
Girl: “I saw my mom put ketchup and mayonnaise on it in the oven. And she puts sauce with green stuff on it. And I ate the back, that’s my favorite!”
Boy: “I like Leggo turkey with apple juice on it.”
Boy: “ME, I’ll take anything!”
Today's word of the day - GAGGLE: an often noisy or disorderly group or gathering.
Boy: “I like the chicken part best.”
Boy: “I do not know but the chicken legs I like.”
Girl: “I like the potatoes of the turkey.”
Girl: “I just like the regular steak.”
Girl: “My mom puts olives and gravy on the turkey and I eat the bones in front.”
Boy: “My mom puts vinegar on the turkey then puts it in the oven. I like the whole body.”
Girl: “I saw my mom put ketchup and mayonnaise on it in the oven. And she puts sauce with green stuff on it. And I ate the back, that’s my favorite!”
Boy: “I like Leggo turkey with apple juice on it.”
Boy: “ME, I’ll take anything!”
Today's word of the day - GAGGLE: an often noisy or disorderly group or gathering.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Portraits of a Nurse
Periodically kids are excused from physical education class for one reason or another. These kids all troop down to my office and spend the PE period with me. I either ask the kids to do homework or use the time as a creative outlet to practice their art skills. The following is a sampling of drawings a group of first graders drew with me being the subject.
I will have to have a word with these kids about the gray hair. I'm sure I have another 2 weeks before I have to do my roots again!
I will have to have a word with these kids about the gray hair. I'm sure I have another 2 weeks before I have to do my roots again!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Closing in on Thanksgiving
Here is a quick survey question today. What is a Pilgrim?
First Graders:
Boy: “Something adults eat when they are sick.”
Girl: “Someone who came to Thanksgiving.”
Girl: “They are old people.”
Boy: “I think it’s a human.”
Boy: “No, it’s a kind of insect.”
Kindergarten
Girl: “It’s a cushion fer around yer neck.”
Boy: “Oh, it’s a happy pillow”
Girl: “It’s a turkey.”
Boy: “No, no it’s when you eat a turkey.”
Boy: “It’s a, It’s a, It’s a thing that grows on yer foot.”
Boy: “It’s a basket of good stuff to eat in it.”
In walks a really smart kid in first grade who really knows his stuff:
Boy: “They are people who come out of the woods from all over and they have big white hats on their heads and they bring turkeys for the Indians to cook and the Indians who have corn on the cob and apples and all. And they have a party and a bonfire and music and dance with each other and then they go back home.”
First Graders:
Boy: “Something adults eat when they are sick.”
Girl: “Someone who came to Thanksgiving.”
Girl: “They are old people.”
Boy: “I think it’s a human.”
Boy: “No, it’s a kind of insect.”
Kindergarten
Girl: “It’s a cushion fer around yer neck.”
Boy: “Oh, it’s a happy pillow”
Girl: “It’s a turkey.”
Boy: “No, no it’s when you eat a turkey.”
Boy: “It’s a, It’s a, It’s a thing that grows on yer foot.”
Boy: “It’s a basket of good stuff to eat in it.”
In walks a really smart kid in first grade who really knows his stuff:
Boy: “They are people who come out of the woods from all over and they have big white hats on their heads and they bring turkeys for the Indians to cook and the Indians who have corn on the cob and apples and all. And they have a party and a bonfire and music and dance with each other and then they go back home.”
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Karate Kid
When you are a first grader you never know when you are going to be ambushed by your buddies. I observed Kenneth holding the door open to his classroom for his other classmates. Suddenly one of his buddies picked him up and held him while his other little buddy ran over and proceeded to use him as a chopping block.
“This is my karate chop, and I’m practicing it!” said his buddy. “Sorry.” Chop went his hand. “Sorry.” Chop again. “Sorry.”
Each time he wacked poor Kenneth he would apologize. After the fifth or sixth karate chop all the kids in the area were practicing their karate chops! I decided to make my exit before the teacher came along and blamed the episode on me.
“This is my karate chop, and I’m practicing it!” said his buddy. “Sorry.” Chop went his hand. “Sorry.” Chop again. “Sorry.”
Each time he wacked poor Kenneth he would apologize. After the fifth or sixth karate chop all the kids in the area were practicing their karate chops! I decided to make my exit before the teacher came along and blamed the episode on me.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I Feel the Earth, Move, Under my Feet
I leaned back against the cool doorframe. The tension in my shoulders dissolved a little as I kneaded my back muscles ever so slightly against the wood. It must be a full moon I thought to myself. There was noise, lots of noise, and movement. That quick darting movement you see in your peripheral vision that triggers the flight or fight instinct. All the cots were full and the last wave of kids just could not stop squirming. They jabbered to one another incessantly. I was convinced that I contracted the first ever case of motion sickness from a room full of kids. I would have to check the internet when I got back to my desk to see if that is possible.
I was still leaning dreamily against the doorframe when the chatter of a child broke the silence. Through half opened eyes I saw the pair coming from the other end of the long corridor. Kindergarteners I judged. Two boys, one held a hand to his stomach. They reached my office door.
“Hi nurse. This is Asher. Asher gots a stomach hurt. But he won’t tell me why. I think sometin he ate maybe. I’m Jesse. I’m his buddy to walk hims to the nurse.”
Yep, I made a mental note to check the phase of the moon once I finished with these two. “Ok boys. Come on in to the office.” I said leading the way to first cot. Asher immediately laid down while Jesse stood beside me with his hands planted firmly on his hips in appraisal of the situation.
“Asher, what did you eat for breakfast this morning?” I asked. “Did you eat breakfast?”
Asher looked thoughtful for a moment and opened his mouth to answer.
“I don’t eat a lot of stuff, only some apples, blanas and nutchos.” The words did not come out of Asher’s mouth. Beside the motion sickness was I now hallucinating?
“I don’t like my Mom’s stuff. She makes soup with sauce and peanut butter.” The disembodied voice continued. Asher’s mouth was now closed but his eyes directed my attention to my left.
“If she makes sauce with peanut butter and jelly it’s good!” Relief, it was not hallucinations! Jesse continued his food network narration nonstop. “I had butter on ice cream once. It tastes gross. I just like ice cream with jelly on it, the purple jelly like everyone gots. I like peas, and corn, and sauce, and peanut butter on it.”
Finally Jesse took a long breath and looked up at me. A small bead of sweat trickled down his left temple. “I don’t like to talk a lot, it makes my head hot.”
By this time Asher was up and around. I saw them to the door and leaned back against the doorframe as they headed down the hall. With my eyes half shut again I suddenly felt the floor lurch to the right. I opened my eyes. Earthquake? No, the two boys were still walking calmly back to class. I decided this will definitely be the first documented case of motion sickness brought on by long periods of exposure to chatty kids.
I was still leaning dreamily against the doorframe when the chatter of a child broke the silence. Through half opened eyes I saw the pair coming from the other end of the long corridor. Kindergarteners I judged. Two boys, one held a hand to his stomach. They reached my office door.
“Hi nurse. This is Asher. Asher gots a stomach hurt. But he won’t tell me why. I think sometin he ate maybe. I’m Jesse. I’m his buddy to walk hims to the nurse.”
Yep, I made a mental note to check the phase of the moon once I finished with these two. “Ok boys. Come on in to the office.” I said leading the way to first cot. Asher immediately laid down while Jesse stood beside me with his hands planted firmly on his hips in appraisal of the situation.
“Asher, what did you eat for breakfast this morning?” I asked. “Did you eat breakfast?”
Asher looked thoughtful for a moment and opened his mouth to answer.
“I don’t eat a lot of stuff, only some apples, blanas and nutchos.” The words did not come out of Asher’s mouth. Beside the motion sickness was I now hallucinating?
“I don’t like my Mom’s stuff. She makes soup with sauce and peanut butter.” The disembodied voice continued. Asher’s mouth was now closed but his eyes directed my attention to my left.
“If she makes sauce with peanut butter and jelly it’s good!” Relief, it was not hallucinations! Jesse continued his food network narration nonstop. “I had butter on ice cream once. It tastes gross. I just like ice cream with jelly on it, the purple jelly like everyone gots. I like peas, and corn, and sauce, and peanut butter on it.”
Finally Jesse took a long breath and looked up at me. A small bead of sweat trickled down his left temple. “I don’t like to talk a lot, it makes my head hot.”
By this time Asher was up and around. I saw them to the door and leaned back against the doorframe as they headed down the hall. With my eyes half shut again I suddenly felt the floor lurch to the right. I opened my eyes. Earthquake? No, the two boys were still walking calmly back to class. I decided this will definitely be the first documented case of motion sickness brought on by long periods of exposure to chatty kids.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Veteran’s Day
Today’s is Veteran’s Day and the kids have the day off. I took a poll yesterday to find out if the kids knew the significance of the day.
The First Group of kids were first graders.
Boy: “I think we have off because tomorrow is Friday.”
Boy: “I think it is Valentine’s Day.”
Boy: “I think it’s like we have summer off. The teacher said we have to do more reading and writing.”
Girl: “It’s gonna be a special day. It’s a day for the teachers.”
Boy: “I don’t know.”
Girl: Turning to the boy she says, “Think what is in your mind!”
Boy: Looks at the girl a bit annoyed, “In my mind?! I don’t have to come to school fer two days!”
Then a group of Kindergartener’s came in and to my surprise were quite knowledgable
Girl: “Because it is Veteran’s Day and you have to say hello to the soldiers of America cuz they help America.”
Boy: “Fer the soldiers, they need to tect our city.”
Girl: “A day the soldiers were at the war and won and today we celebrate.”
Boy: “I thought that was in February.”
Boy: “We are celebrating the army.”
The First Group of kids were first graders.
Boy: “I think we have off because tomorrow is Friday.”
Boy: “I think it is Valentine’s Day.”
Boy: “I think it’s like we have summer off. The teacher said we have to do more reading and writing.”
Girl: “It’s gonna be a special day. It’s a day for the teachers.”
Boy: “I don’t know.”
Girl: Turning to the boy she says, “Think what is in your mind!”
Boy: Looks at the girl a bit annoyed, “In my mind?! I don’t have to come to school fer two days!”
Then a group of Kindergartener’s came in and to my surprise were quite knowledgable
Girl: “Because it is Veteran’s Day and you have to say hello to the soldiers of America cuz they help America.”
Boy: “Fer the soldiers, they need to tect our city.”
Girl: “A day the soldiers were at the war and won and today we celebrate.”
Boy: “I thought that was in February.”
Boy: “We are celebrating the army.”
Monday, November 10, 2008
All in the Family
When children come in my office they chat about everything. When it comes to describing their families, the little ones can often get very creative in their descriptions. This morning first thing I looked in my doorway and there were three first grade boys, Johnny, Thomas and Benjamin. A quick look at Johnny's knee told me this was a minor scratch that needed a bandaid and the other two were just along for support.
"Come on over here, Johnny." I said, "What happened to your knee?"
"I scwatched it on the way to school, " he said looking like he was about to burst into tears.
Knowing the exact cure for his ailment, I put a bandaid on and finished it off with a bright blue smiley face sticker. "There you go, that should fix you right up"
Johnny's face immediately brightened up as he looked at his new sticker, the scratch was forgotten. The other 2 boys however, were watching intently and now looked up at me looking very much like Johnny did just a minute ago. "Ok, guys, " I said calling them over. "Since you helped Johnny out, you can each pick out a sticker too"
This was all the encouragement that was needed as Thomas dashed over and immediately picked a green smiley face. "I want the green one because it looks like my brother". Benjamin not to be outdone quickly picked out the red sticker. "This one is the color of my brother", he exclaimed as his pasted it to the back of his hand. Johnny chirped in gleefully, "I like the blue one you gave me, Nurse. It is the color of my mother's bird !"
I looked at the three of them smiling to myself; green brothers, red brothers and blue birds. "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" I asked.
Thomas, the little boy with the green brother immediately spoke up. "I have one brother and he is 70 years old and my sister is 11 and I’m only 6." He paused for a moment, concentrating very hard, finally he said, "and I think my Mom is 22 and my Dad is 87 or 89 and my grandma is really really old. She is over 100."
As they headed back to class still comparing their stickers, a quick thought crossed my mind, I wondered how they described me to their parents. Was I purple or green? Was I 20 or 100 years old? I smiled at the thought, hoping for 30 years old and a nice shade of pink.
"Come on over here, Johnny." I said, "What happened to your knee?"
"I scwatched it on the way to school, " he said looking like he was about to burst into tears.
Knowing the exact cure for his ailment, I put a bandaid on and finished it off with a bright blue smiley face sticker. "There you go, that should fix you right up"
Johnny's face immediately brightened up as he looked at his new sticker, the scratch was forgotten. The other 2 boys however, were watching intently and now looked up at me looking very much like Johnny did just a minute ago. "Ok, guys, " I said calling them over. "Since you helped Johnny out, you can each pick out a sticker too"
This was all the encouragement that was needed as Thomas dashed over and immediately picked a green smiley face. "I want the green one because it looks like my brother". Benjamin not to be outdone quickly picked out the red sticker. "This one is the color of my brother", he exclaimed as his pasted it to the back of his hand. Johnny chirped in gleefully, "I like the blue one you gave me, Nurse. It is the color of my mother's bird !"
I looked at the three of them smiling to myself; green brothers, red brothers and blue birds. "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" I asked.
Thomas, the little boy with the green brother immediately spoke up. "I have one brother and he is 70 years old and my sister is 11 and I’m only 6." He paused for a moment, concentrating very hard, finally he said, "and I think my Mom is 22 and my Dad is 87 or 89 and my grandma is really really old. She is over 100."
As they headed back to class still comparing their stickers, a quick thought crossed my mind, I wondered how they described me to their parents. Was I purple or green? Was I 20 or 100 years old? I smiled at the thought, hoping for 30 years old and a nice shade of pink.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Breakfast is the Most Important Meal
There are always stomach aches in the weeks following Halloween. A kindergarten girl brought a boy from her class to the office. He was slightly doubled over, small beads of sweat broken out on his forehead and an ashen look to his face. Within a mere nanosecond or two I took in all this, yep, stomach ache.
“This is my cousin,” she said. “I see him drinking soda and eating candy all the time. Especially the yellow candy, he likes yellow.”
“It’s brown with green things,” said the boy referring the candy he likes. At least I think that’s what he was referring to.
The girl continued, “I like the candy with the pointy things on the side. They are my favorite!”
Meanwhile a little girl lying on cot two on the other side of the room overheard our conversation. She jumped in with her own comment, “In the mornings there’s nothing to drink at my house. So I drink coffee and eat chocolate candy!”
“This is my cousin,” she said. “I see him drinking soda and eating candy all the time. Especially the yellow candy, he likes yellow.”
“It’s brown with green things,” said the boy referring the candy he likes. At least I think that’s what he was referring to.
The girl continued, “I like the candy with the pointy things on the side. They are my favorite!”
Meanwhile a little girl lying on cot two on the other side of the room overheard our conversation. She jumped in with her own comment, “In the mornings there’s nothing to drink at my house. So I drink coffee and eat chocolate candy!”
The Best Medicine?
Two girls and one boy, all from kindergarten, paid a visit to my office. The first girl was holding her head as the other girl and the boy appeared to be her escort to the infirmary.
“What’s wrong with your head,” I said taking the little girls hand and leading her over to cot number three.
Laying down the little girl peered up at me with half opened eyes, moaned slightly, and before she could speak the apparent spokeswoman for the group took control. “She has an ache in her headball,” informed the second girl.
“Her what, oh, you mean she has a headache.”
“Yea, that’s what I said, her headball hurts,” the second girl confirmed lifting her one eyebrow at me questioning my ability to understand English. She continued with the diagnosis, “Amilee says she’s not sure why it hurts but I’m purty sure it’s because it’s too noisy in the lunchroom.” Amilee, lying on the cot, shook her head to confirm this analysis.
Girl two however was not finished, “My brudder, he got an ear but he can’t hear any noises out of it. He hears the noises only in his utter ear.” She paused briefly, looked up thoughtfully to the ceiling and concluded, “I hear noise only in one ear too cuz the utter one is fer seeing.”
The little boy in the group finally interjected, “I hear in both mine.” Pointing to his left ear he added, “This one on this side is the loudest when my Mom hollers at me.”
Both the little girls nodded in agreement with his last statement indicating that they too understood this phenomenon. The little boy then fastened his gravest look on me and said, “This is my first time I brought someone in fer a headache. I just don’t know what to do with her Nurse.”
Pushing swiftly back into the conversation girl two confidently provided the treatment, “Roll up toilet paper and put it in her ear. That will work.”
“What’s wrong with your head,” I said taking the little girls hand and leading her over to cot number three.
Laying down the little girl peered up at me with half opened eyes, moaned slightly, and before she could speak the apparent spokeswoman for the group took control. “She has an ache in her headball,” informed the second girl.
“Her what, oh, you mean she has a headache.”
“Yea, that’s what I said, her headball hurts,” the second girl confirmed lifting her one eyebrow at me questioning my ability to understand English. She continued with the diagnosis, “Amilee says she’s not sure why it hurts but I’m purty sure it’s because it’s too noisy in the lunchroom.” Amilee, lying on the cot, shook her head to confirm this analysis.
Girl two however was not finished, “My brudder, he got an ear but he can’t hear any noises out of it. He hears the noises only in his utter ear.” She paused briefly, looked up thoughtfully to the ceiling and concluded, “I hear noise only in one ear too cuz the utter one is fer seeing.”
The little boy in the group finally interjected, “I hear in both mine.” Pointing to his left ear he added, “This one on this side is the loudest when my Mom hollers at me.”
Both the little girls nodded in agreement with his last statement indicating that they too understood this phenomenon. The little boy then fastened his gravest look on me and said, “This is my first time I brought someone in fer a headache. I just don’t know what to do with her Nurse.”
Pushing swiftly back into the conversation girl two confidently provided the treatment, “Roll up toilet paper and put it in her ear. That will work.”
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Moving Day
With the election behind us I decided to find out if Kindergarteners and First Graders know where the President of the United States lives. Here are their answers:
Boy: “He will live in all the rooms in the White House.”
Boy: “He is going to live in the white house.”
Nurse Ehop: “Where is that located?”
Boy: “In New York.”
Boy 1: “I don’t know. I don’t get it.”
Boy 2: “You don’t know nuttin. But I know, I know! He is going to live in the White House in Georgia Washington!”
Girl 1: “He is going to be in a nice house with birds on the roof.”
Nurse Ehop: “And where is that?”
Girl 1: “I don’t know. It’s somewhere.”
Girl 2: “I think he has a condo somewhere.”
Boy: “He is going to live in the United States of America!”
Boy: “He has a house somewhere but I don’t know where it is.”
Boy: “He is going to live in the capital building!”
Nurse Ehop: “Where is that located?”
Boy: “New York!”
Boy: “He will live in all the rooms in the White House.”
Boy: “He is going to live in the white house.”
Nurse Ehop: “Where is that located?”
Boy: “In New York.”
Boy 1: “I don’t know. I don’t get it.”
Boy 2: “You don’t know nuttin. But I know, I know! He is going to live in the White House in Georgia Washington!”
Girl 1: “He is going to be in a nice house with birds on the roof.”
Nurse Ehop: “And where is that?”
Girl 1: “I don’t know. It’s somewhere.”
Girl 2: “I think he has a condo somewhere.”
Boy: “He is going to live in the United States of America!”
Boy: “He has a house somewhere but I don’t know where it is.”
Boy: “He is going to live in the capital building!”
Nurse Ehop: “Where is that located?”
Boy: “New York!”
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Big Event – Get Out and Vote
Today is a very important day; we will elect the next president of the United States. With all the media attention this year it is hard not to know what is happening today. I wondered if the children were aware the election so I asked them this question: “What is the ‘Big Event’ happening today in our country?”
Girl (kindergarten): “Everybody is getting hurt and we have to come to the nurse.”
Boy (1st grade): “Are we going to another country?”
Girl (1st grade): “I’m getting glasses today!”
Boy (1st grade): “Are we going on a field trip, is that a field trip bus out there”
Boy (1st grade): He looked very upset as he said, “I don’t know, I don’t know. I didn’t study good last night.”
Girl (kindergarten): “I think it is cold outside, we are getting jackets.”
Boy (1st grade): “I don’t know, I am going blind!”
I was beginning to get worried at this point. No one so far had any idea of the importance of our democracy and the right to vote. Then finally I got the next responses:
Girl (1st grade): “They are going to vote today and I’m going to vote for Hillary Clinton.”
Boy (2nd grade): He was very excited as he proclaimed, “I am going to vote for Barack Obama, he will lower the FCATS by the time I get to third grade and I won’t have to take any test!”
Boy (1st grade): “They are voting for McBama or McChain to see who they are going to have for vice president.”
Boy (1st grade): “My Dad wants Mucky or Obama, I don’t know.”
Just when the kids were on a roll, several became a little confused with the terminology, although I think they had the general idea:
Boy (1st grade): “They are boating for the president”
Boy (1st grade): “My brother boated on the computer today.”
Girl (1st grade): “My sister boated too, she is 9 years old.”
Then at last, this little boy really was confident in his answer:
Boy (1st grade): “I know! We are voting!”
Nurse Ehop: “Do you know who you are voting for?”
Boy: “The presidents or birds.”
I’ll leave you with that profound choice to ponder as you go to the polls to cast your vote.
Girl (kindergarten): “Everybody is getting hurt and we have to come to the nurse.”
Boy (1st grade): “Are we going to another country?”
Girl (1st grade): “I’m getting glasses today!”
Boy (1st grade): “Are we going on a field trip, is that a field trip bus out there”
Boy (1st grade): He looked very upset as he said, “I don’t know, I don’t know. I didn’t study good last night.”
Girl (kindergarten): “I think it is cold outside, we are getting jackets.”
Boy (1st grade): “I don’t know, I am going blind!”
I was beginning to get worried at this point. No one so far had any idea of the importance of our democracy and the right to vote. Then finally I got the next responses:
Girl (1st grade): “They are going to vote today and I’m going to vote for Hillary Clinton.”
Boy (2nd grade): He was very excited as he proclaimed, “I am going to vote for Barack Obama, he will lower the FCATS by the time I get to third grade and I won’t have to take any test!”
Boy (1st grade): “They are voting for McBama or McChain to see who they are going to have for vice president.”
Boy (1st grade): “My Dad wants Mucky or Obama, I don’t know.”
Just when the kids were on a roll, several became a little confused with the terminology, although I think they had the general idea:
Boy (1st grade): “They are boating for the president”
Boy (1st grade): “My brother boated on the computer today.”
Girl (1st grade): “My sister boated too, she is 9 years old.”
Then at last, this little boy really was confident in his answer:
Boy (1st grade): “I know! We are voting!”
Nurse Ehop: “Do you know who you are voting for?”
Boy: “The presidents or birds.”
I’ll leave you with that profound choice to ponder as you go to the polls to cast your vote.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I Can See Clearly Now…
I have a pet project I undertake each year. Our local area has a free eyeglass program for kids that need glasses and financially qualify for the program. This project is very time consuming because of all the prescreening to determine which kids need glasses and also qualify for the program under the financial guidelines. Today is the day the bus pulled up with the optometrist and all his equipment to perform the free eye examines and to take orders for glasses. It has been a very busy and gratifying day and I’ll leave you with a couple little stories.
Bridgett, a first grader, had her eyes dilated for the exam and they gave here a pair of dark glasses to protect her eyes from the bright sunlight. The glasses are just dark flimsy plastic. For some reason she was afraid of the glasses and would not wear them. She said perhaps if they were pink or green she might wear them. Once again I was baffled by the hidden subtleties of first grade logic. When she left she was hiding the glasses and could barely see because her eyes were closed to slits to protect from the sunlight.
A kindergarten boy went back to class wearing his dark glasses. When I had a break I went around making sure the kids were still wearing their glasses when they went out in the sun. The kindergarten teacher called me over because the little boy would not take off his glasses in class. He told the teacher he could only see when he was wearing the sunglasses. I looked over at him and the sunglasses were all lopsided on his face. Then all the other kids noticed me and came running over asking if they too could have dark sunglasses. Once again I totally disrupted the institute of learning!
Bridgett, a first grader, had her eyes dilated for the exam and they gave here a pair of dark glasses to protect her eyes from the bright sunlight. The glasses are just dark flimsy plastic. For some reason she was afraid of the glasses and would not wear them. She said perhaps if they were pink or green she might wear them. Once again I was baffled by the hidden subtleties of first grade logic. When she left she was hiding the glasses and could barely see because her eyes were closed to slits to protect from the sunlight.
A kindergarten boy went back to class wearing his dark glasses. When I had a break I went around making sure the kids were still wearing their glasses when they went out in the sun. The kindergarten teacher called me over because the little boy would not take off his glasses in class. He told the teacher he could only see when he was wearing the sunglasses. I looked over at him and the sunglasses were all lopsided on his face. Then all the other kids noticed me and came running over asking if they too could have dark sunglasses. Once again I totally disrupted the institute of learning!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Purple Pumpkin Pie
DISCLAIMER: I just want to let you know that it is OK if you do not understand some of the conversations between kids that I record on this blog. Half the time I do not understand what they are talking about!
Two cute little first grade girls came limping into my office today. The first girl had a faint scratch on her lower left leg. Her buddy sported an old bruise on her right knee which I estimated to be about five days old. Both were looking for band aids and most likely the news about the bag of candy I had in my desk had made it around the school. Please listen in on our conversation:
Nurse Ehop: “What are you girls doing in class today?”
Georgia: “We are fixing pumpkins!”
Kayla: “Yea, we put them on the thing that weighs your feet. And then we put on blocks of paper if it is 4 or 5 or 6.”
Nurse Ehop: “Blocks of paper? What…”
Georgia: “It has 380 seeds! You make punkin pie with the seeds you know.”
Kayla: “We can make grape punkin pie and apple punkin pie too!”
Nurse Ehop: “I never hea……”
Georgia: “I saw a stale punkin yesterday. It was sitten on the table by me. I touched it and it was yucky. It was lookin at me so I moved away.”
Kayla: “One boy stuck it with his pencil to see if it moved. He’s mean. We told the teacher on him.”
Nurse Ehop: “Whoa, slow down girls. So what did the teacher do?” Score one for nurse. I finally got in a full sentence!
Georgial: “Nothin, and now there’s a hole in the punkin. I don’t like to look at it with the hole and all.”
Kayla: “Can we have a band aid to put on the hole?”
I sent both girls back to class, one with a Hello Kitty band aid, the other with a Bacon-n-Egg band aid and a plain brown band aid for the abused pumpkin. They then reminded me about the bag of candy in my desk and each selected a sweet prize. I told them not to open the candy until they got home with the rest of their treats. I watched them as they headed back to class…. They were eating their candy.
Two cute little first grade girls came limping into my office today. The first girl had a faint scratch on her lower left leg. Her buddy sported an old bruise on her right knee which I estimated to be about five days old. Both were looking for band aids and most likely the news about the bag of candy I had in my desk had made it around the school. Please listen in on our conversation:
Nurse Ehop: “What are you girls doing in class today?”
Georgia: “We are fixing pumpkins!”
Kayla: “Yea, we put them on the thing that weighs your feet. And then we put on blocks of paper if it is 4 or 5 or 6.”
Nurse Ehop: “Blocks of paper? What…”
Georgia: “It has 380 seeds! You make punkin pie with the seeds you know.”
Kayla: “We can make grape punkin pie and apple punkin pie too!”
Nurse Ehop: “I never hea……”
Georgia: “I saw a stale punkin yesterday. It was sitten on the table by me. I touched it and it was yucky. It was lookin at me so I moved away.”
Kayla: “One boy stuck it with his pencil to see if it moved. He’s mean. We told the teacher on him.”
Nurse Ehop: “Whoa, slow down girls. So what did the teacher do?” Score one for nurse. I finally got in a full sentence!
Georgial: “Nothin, and now there’s a hole in the punkin. I don’t like to look at it with the hole and all.”
Kayla: “Can we have a band aid to put on the hole?”
I sent both girls back to class, one with a Hello Kitty band aid, the other with a Bacon-n-Egg band aid and a plain brown band aid for the abused pumpkin. They then reminded me about the bag of candy in my desk and each selected a sweet prize. I told them not to open the candy until they got home with the rest of their treats. I watched them as they headed back to class…. They were eating their candy.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Second Graders and Halloween
I asked second graders today what they are going to be dressing up as for Halloween.
Boy: “I'm going to be Clone Commander Cody from Star Wars the Clone Wars."
Boy: "A silver bullet.”
Boy: “I'm a werewolf with a human shirt and scratched jeans. I'm starting to scratch holes in them every day now so they are ready for trick or treating. See how they look?”
He points to the knees of his jeans. I can see the start of faint worn marks.
Nurse Ehop: “Your Mom isn't going to like you putting holes in your jeans will she?”
Boy: “I know, but the holes are important! I'll just stick them back together afterwards.”
Boy: “My whole family are going trick or treatin. I'm gonna be Goosebumps and all my family is going to be living dummies.”
Boy: “I'm going to be a red and yellow iron man with a big candy bag.”
Boy: “I'm gonna be a pillow case.”
Nurse Ehop: “A pillow case! Why did you pick that?”
Boy: “Cause I'm weird!!”
Boy: “Me, well, I was a gangster last year. But this time I'm gonna be a Zombie Gangster! That means I will walk the street and howl. WOOOOO. See?”
Meanwhile a litttle kindergarten boy sat here in my office listening to this and began to cry.
Nurse Ehop: “See, all you big kids are scaring this little boy.”
The kindergartener was crying louder now. I went over to console him.
Nurse Ehop: “Don't be afraid, they won't hurt you.
Kindergarten Boy: “My belly hurts!”
Yes, I know. Most of the time the conversations that happen in my office make little to no sense!
Boy: “I'm going to be Clone Commander Cody from Star Wars the Clone Wars."
Boy: "A silver bullet.”
Boy: “I'm a werewolf with a human shirt and scratched jeans. I'm starting to scratch holes in them every day now so they are ready for trick or treating. See how they look?”
He points to the knees of his jeans. I can see the start of faint worn marks.
Nurse Ehop: “Your Mom isn't going to like you putting holes in your jeans will she?”
Boy: “I know, but the holes are important! I'll just stick them back together afterwards.”
Boy: “My whole family are going trick or treatin. I'm gonna be Goosebumps and all my family is going to be living dummies.”
Boy: “I'm going to be a red and yellow iron man with a big candy bag.”
Boy: “I'm gonna be a pillow case.”
Nurse Ehop: “A pillow case! Why did you pick that?”
Boy: “Cause I'm weird!!”
Boy: “Me, well, I was a gangster last year. But this time I'm gonna be a Zombie Gangster! That means I will walk the street and howl. WOOOOO. See?”
Meanwhile a litttle kindergarten boy sat here in my office listening to this and began to cry.
Nurse Ehop: “See, all you big kids are scaring this little boy.”
The kindergartener was crying louder now. I went over to console him.
Nurse Ehop: “Don't be afraid, they won't hurt you.
Kindergarten Boy: “My belly hurts!”
Yes, I know. Most of the time the conversations that happen in my office make little to no sense!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Kindergarteners and Halloween
I asked kindergarteners today what they are going to be dressing up as for Halloween.
Two little boys got off to a bad start with my question. The altercation is as follows:
Boy 1: “I’m gonna be spiderman! A good one, black spiders, man they are bad ones.”
Boy 2: “No yer not! Yer gonna be a monster.”
Boy 1: “No I’m not, monsters are scary. They put glue and stuff all over their faces.”
Boy 2: “I’m gonna be Sponge Bob, he’s nice.”
Boy 1: “You can’t be him cause he’s in the ocean.”
Now Boy 2 pushes Boy 1, Boy 1 cries. They both get a reprimand from their teacher.
Girl: “I'm gonna be a good fairy with wings to fly, having a fairy stick with a star on it that is magic and makes everything turn to good stuff like candy. “
Girl: “I'm gonna be a witch with a broom and I can fly too. I can fly higher than a fairy. I can reach the moon.”
Boy: “You know that man from spiderman? He has hair all the way down to his foot? I'm gonna be him.”
Nurse Ehop: “What's his name?---
Boy: He thought awhile then saidm "Jackson, he's cool.”
Boy: “My Mom's making my costume. She gave me a shirt she tore up and my Dad's old hat cause he doesn't want it no more.”
Nurse Ehop: “That sounds like your going to dress like a hobo boy.”
Boy: “Oh yeah, my Mom's gettin me a real big bag fer candy. She wants me to get lots of stuff.”
Boy: “My friend is gonna be….. Oh… my gosh, I can't remember his name. He's the big fat guy from Chicken Little. I don't know what’s his name. He's the mean one that destroys the town. He's a big giant. My other friend is gonna be Chicken Little. He looks like a little chicken, almost, he is the size of a pig.”
Two little boys got off to a bad start with my question. The altercation is as follows:
Boy 1: “I’m gonna be spiderman! A good one, black spiders, man they are bad ones.”
Boy 2: “No yer not! Yer gonna be a monster.”
Boy 1: “No I’m not, monsters are scary. They put glue and stuff all over their faces.”
Boy 2: “I’m gonna be Sponge Bob, he’s nice.”
Boy 1: “You can’t be him cause he’s in the ocean.”
Now Boy 2 pushes Boy 1, Boy 1 cries. They both get a reprimand from their teacher.
Girl: “I'm gonna be a good fairy with wings to fly, having a fairy stick with a star on it that is magic and makes everything turn to good stuff like candy. “
Girl: “I'm gonna be a witch with a broom and I can fly too. I can fly higher than a fairy. I can reach the moon.”
Boy: “You know that man from spiderman? He has hair all the way down to his foot? I'm gonna be him.”
Nurse Ehop: “What's his name?---
Boy: He thought awhile then saidm "Jackson, he's cool.”
Boy: “My Mom's making my costume. She gave me a shirt she tore up and my Dad's old hat cause he doesn't want it no more.”
Nurse Ehop: “That sounds like your going to dress like a hobo boy.”
Boy: “Oh yeah, my Mom's gettin me a real big bag fer candy. She wants me to get lots of stuff.”
Boy: “My friend is gonna be….. Oh… my gosh, I can't remember his name. He's the big fat guy from Chicken Little. I don't know what’s his name. He's the mean one that destroys the town. He's a big giant. My other friend is gonna be Chicken Little. He looks like a little chicken, almost, he is the size of a pig.”
Monday, October 27, 2008
First Graders and Halloween
I asked a bunch of First Graders what they were going to dress up as for Halloween and why they picked that costume.
Girl: “Princess because they are pretty and they have wings and you get lots of candy if you are one.”
Boy: “Batman because he is my favorite evil.”
Girl: “Hanna Montana because I have lots of bracelets and earrings and my mom don’t want me to be a butterfly.”
Boy: Thinking…. finally said “I want to be ‘Iderman’ because I lost my costume and we went to walmart to get one.”
Boy: “Gas, because I read about it.”
Girl: “Cheerleader because I can then scream at a lot at boys.”
Girl: “Fairy vampire because I have vampire teeth.” She then opened her mouth wide and it was very apparent that her teeth were pointed.
Girl: “Spidergirl so I can throw webs around my dog.”
Girl: “Hanna Montana because I sat on a newspaper with her name on it.”
Boy: “Clone Trooper from Starwars because I want to be able to go to a planet.”
Boy: “Firefighter. I have to be that because I have to practice NOT to light my mom’s lighter. She don’t want me to start a fire.” I asked if he tried to light her lighter and he said, “Yep, I did, one time, and I got in big trouble.”
Girl: “Hanna Montana.” I asked why and she very shyly said, “I don’t know.” The boy beside her chimed in loudly “Because you want to be Hot!“
Boy: “Zombie! My costume is black and it has a black mask, and it has meat and bones and a black cape and my leg will be chopped off.” His friend next to him said, “That’s too scary I don’t want to go trick or treating with you.”
Girl: “Princess because they are pretty and they have wings and you get lots of candy if you are one.”
Boy: “Batman because he is my favorite evil.”
Girl: “Hanna Montana because I have lots of bracelets and earrings and my mom don’t want me to be a butterfly.”
Boy: Thinking…. finally said “I want to be ‘Iderman’ because I lost my costume and we went to walmart to get one.”
Boy: “Gas, because I read about it.”
Girl: “Cheerleader because I can then scream at a lot at boys.”
Girl: “Fairy vampire because I have vampire teeth.” She then opened her mouth wide and it was very apparent that her teeth were pointed.
Girl: “Spidergirl so I can throw webs around my dog.”
Girl: “Hanna Montana because I sat on a newspaper with her name on it.”
Boy: “Clone Trooper from Starwars because I want to be able to go to a planet.”
Boy: “Firefighter. I have to be that because I have to practice NOT to light my mom’s lighter. She don’t want me to start a fire.” I asked if he tried to light her lighter and he said, “Yep, I did, one time, and I got in big trouble.”
Girl: “Hanna Montana.” I asked why and she very shyly said, “I don’t know.” The boy beside her chimed in loudly “Because you want to be Hot!“
Boy: “Zombie! My costume is black and it has a black mask, and it has meat and bones and a black cape and my leg will be chopped off.” His friend next to him said, “That’s too scary I don’t want to go trick or treating with you.”
Tonsil Talk
Dominique, a second grader, paid me a visit today. He patiently tried to explain what was wrong with him, something about his head. This has been a typical Monday with kids piling up at the door, low on blood sugar, grumpy from lack of sleep and I was getting no where fast with a diagnosis for Dominique.
“Dominique,” I asked. “Is it a headache or maybe a sore throat? I’m not sure where you are pointing when you wave your hands around so much.”
“No Nurse Ehop, you see I don’t have tonsils no more.” He continued to explain as he flapped his arms out in all directions. “So cause I don’t have no more tonsils I say the wrong words sometimes.”
“No tonsils? What happened to your tonsils?” I asked.
“They were getting too big! Look,” Dominique said as he measured about ten inches with his hands on my desk. “They were growing up and across.” He pointed to his neck and traced up along his cheek to illustrate this phenomenon. “Now I don’t snore no more cause the tonsils don’t wiggle any. But now I have nightmares sometimes.”
Before I could saw another he looked up at the clock and said, “It’s time for my lunch. Can I go eat now? And I’ll come back later?”
“Sure, eat a good lunch today Dominique.” I said as he turned and headed out the door for the lunch room.
After lunch the ebb of kids slowed downed as the school wide blood sugar readings started to stabilize. Dominique came walking back into my office. “Oh, you’re back.”
“Yes Nurse Ehop, I have a grass-spurt.” He proclaimed looking very serious.
“I see, and what might that be Dominique?”
He fixed his best I’m-surprised-I-need-to-explain-this-to-you look on me. “Well, it’s like later on you get tall, and your muscles and stuff are different.” My blank expression urged him to continue. “I know I’m getting tall and all.” Dominique pointed to his knee. “The doctor said it is right here in my knee bone. The grass-spurt is right here. Do you see?”
Now it was my blood sugar about to take a dive! I assured Dominique he was ok to go back to class and I headed for the faculty room.
“Dominique,” I asked. “Is it a headache or maybe a sore throat? I’m not sure where you are pointing when you wave your hands around so much.”
“No Nurse Ehop, you see I don’t have tonsils no more.” He continued to explain as he flapped his arms out in all directions. “So cause I don’t have no more tonsils I say the wrong words sometimes.”
“No tonsils? What happened to your tonsils?” I asked.
“They were getting too big! Look,” Dominique said as he measured about ten inches with his hands on my desk. “They were growing up and across.” He pointed to his neck and traced up along his cheek to illustrate this phenomenon. “Now I don’t snore no more cause the tonsils don’t wiggle any. But now I have nightmares sometimes.”
Before I could saw another he looked up at the clock and said, “It’s time for my lunch. Can I go eat now? And I’ll come back later?”
“Sure, eat a good lunch today Dominique.” I said as he turned and headed out the door for the lunch room.
After lunch the ebb of kids slowed downed as the school wide blood sugar readings started to stabilize. Dominique came walking back into my office. “Oh, you’re back.”
“Yes Nurse Ehop, I have a grass-spurt.” He proclaimed looking very serious.
“I see, and what might that be Dominique?”
He fixed his best I’m-surprised-I-need-to-explain-this-to-you look on me. “Well, it’s like later on you get tall, and your muscles and stuff are different.” My blank expression urged him to continue. “I know I’m getting tall and all.” Dominique pointed to his knee. “The doctor said it is right here in my knee bone. The grass-spurt is right here. Do you see?”
Now it was my blood sugar about to take a dive! I assured Dominique he was ok to go back to class and I headed for the faculty room.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Black Holes
Today has been a little slow. This is a good thing. I had time to take inventory of my supplies and order more bacon shaped band aids (this year’s favorite with the kids). After finishing the inventory I had to stop by one of the first grade classrooms.
As I walked into the classroom a little boy with big brown eyes came up to me a said, “My Mom cut my ear off.”
I did a quick count and noticed he still had two ears, one on each side of his head, exactly where they were suppose to be. “And how did that happen?” I asked.
“Oh I don’t know for sure but she said she was sorry. So I asked her to buy me a bike and she did.” He replied.
“Well you have two ears now.” I said.
He grinned showing me his missing front teeth. “Well it grew back after she bought me the bike!”
His little buddy sitting beside him reported to me in a matter of fact tone, “My Dad don’t have ears. My Mom told me that my Dad never hears her when she tells him to do something. So those aren’t ears on his head she said.”
Once again trying to retain my professional demeanor I asked, “Well, what are they?” By now all the kids were feeling to see if they had ears and looking at each others heads. I knew I had to make my exit before the teacher asked me to leave because no one was paying attention to her. All eyes were on someone else’s ears! But I stayed long enough to get my answer.
The boy whose farther has no ears answered my question. “They are just big round circles with dark holes in them. And there’s no hair to comb on them so they can get air.”
Another little girl spoke up, “My Dad’s ears must be loose cause I saw him wiggle them. Will they fall off nurse?”
Now all the little kids were holding and pulling at their ears! The teacher raised her eyebrows at me. Ok, it was time to leave. I had more band aids to count.
As I walked into the classroom a little boy with big brown eyes came up to me a said, “My Mom cut my ear off.”
I did a quick count and noticed he still had two ears, one on each side of his head, exactly where they were suppose to be. “And how did that happen?” I asked.
“Oh I don’t know for sure but she said she was sorry. So I asked her to buy me a bike and she did.” He replied.
“Well you have two ears now.” I said.
He grinned showing me his missing front teeth. “Well it grew back after she bought me the bike!”
His little buddy sitting beside him reported to me in a matter of fact tone, “My Dad don’t have ears. My Mom told me that my Dad never hears her when she tells him to do something. So those aren’t ears on his head she said.”
Once again trying to retain my professional demeanor I asked, “Well, what are they?” By now all the kids were feeling to see if they had ears and looking at each others heads. I knew I had to make my exit before the teacher asked me to leave because no one was paying attention to her. All eyes were on someone else’s ears! But I stayed long enough to get my answer.
The boy whose farther has no ears answered my question. “They are just big round circles with dark holes in them. And there’s no hair to comb on them so they can get air.”
Another little girl spoke up, “My Dad’s ears must be loose cause I saw him wiggle them. Will they fall off nurse?”
Now all the little kids were holding and pulling at their ears! The teacher raised her eyebrows at me. Ok, it was time to leave. I had more band aids to count.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Which End is Up
Carmine, a kindergartener, was brought to my office today. He was not feeling very well but was still talkative.
“Hello Doctor,” he said. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, how are you doing today Carmine?” I questioned.
“Well, I have a cough and I also have diarrhea Doctor.”
I was not particularly sure Carmine knew what diarrhea was so I asked, “Carmine, what is diarrhea?”
He looked at me as if to question my medical credentials. “It’s when you take slop out of your mouth,” he explained patiently.
Suppressing a smile I continued my questions, “How long have you coughing? Did your cough just start today or have you been coughing for a couple days?”
“One hundred days!” He exclaimed. “And the cough is getting bigger and the diarrhea is gonna come out pretty soon!”
He started coughing again so I gave him a tissue and told him to cover his mouth when he coughs.
“Thanks,” he said. “I have paper here in my pocket for boogers.”
“Carmine, how old are you?” I asked quickly changing the subject. Knowing full well the educational cliff from which I edged back.
“I’m three 2’s. How old is that Doctor??”
A little girl sitting on one of the cots, totally engrossed in our conversation, could not contain herself any longer. “Your thirty years old!” She blurted out.
Carmine’s Mother eventually showed up to take him home. He did have a fever. When his Mother came into the office Carmine asked her for permission to lie in bed and watch TV when they got home.
As he was walking out the door Carmine stopped, looked back at me and said, “I’ll be sure to come for a checkup when I come back to school Doctor.”
“Hello Doctor,” he said. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, how are you doing today Carmine?” I questioned.
“Well, I have a cough and I also have diarrhea Doctor.”
I was not particularly sure Carmine knew what diarrhea was so I asked, “Carmine, what is diarrhea?”
He looked at me as if to question my medical credentials. “It’s when you take slop out of your mouth,” he explained patiently.
Suppressing a smile I continued my questions, “How long have you coughing? Did your cough just start today or have you been coughing for a couple days?”
“One hundred days!” He exclaimed. “And the cough is getting bigger and the diarrhea is gonna come out pretty soon!”
He started coughing again so I gave him a tissue and told him to cover his mouth when he coughs.
“Thanks,” he said. “I have paper here in my pocket for boogers.”
“Carmine, how old are you?” I asked quickly changing the subject. Knowing full well the educational cliff from which I edged back.
“I’m three 2’s. How old is that Doctor??”
A little girl sitting on one of the cots, totally engrossed in our conversation, could not contain herself any longer. “Your thirty years old!” She blurted out.
Carmine’s Mother eventually showed up to take him home. He did have a fever. When his Mother came into the office Carmine asked her for permission to lie in bed and watch TV when they got home.
As he was walking out the door Carmine stopped, looked back at me and said, “I’ll be sure to come for a checkup when I come back to school Doctor.”
Monday, October 20, 2008
Beware the Earwig
I truly never know what kind of conversation I am going to have each day when the kids show up at my office. Here is a very interesting conversation I had with two second grade girls today.
Girl 1: “When I talk my throat moves and when I walk it hurts nurse Ehop.”
Nurse Ehop: “When did this start?”
Girl 1: “It never happened before. It’s my first time having it.”
Girl 2 (with hiccups): “My throat is going in and out.”
Girl 1 (she sits down): “It hurts when I sit too, but not when I stand.”
Girl 2 (pulling up her pant leg): “I also have four scratches on my leg. I got them in bed when I was sleeping.”
Girl 1 (in shock exclaims): “MAYBE IT WAS AN EARWIG IN HER BED!”
Nurse Ehop: “What is that?”
Girl 1: “its dark, a very dark bug!”
Girl 2 (a little concerned now about the diagnosis): “I couldn't see it.”
Girl 1: “I'm learning about earwigs now, they are disgusting.”
Girl 2 (even more concerned): “Do they have hair?”
Girl 1 (being quite officious now): “No, they are soft and a little bit waterish. They climb on the bed at night and sneak up on your leg. You can't kill it with your shoe, it’s too hard. I had to get a paper towel and squish it with my hand and flush them down the toilet.”
Girl 2 (understanding now reflecting in her eyes): “I saw one on Sponge Bob and it went on a squirrel, then came in the house by itself.”
Girl 1 (continuing the lecture): “They're very tricky. They hide behind your back. Once they crawled all the way up my Mom’s leg when she was sleeping and bit her all the way up her leg.”
Girl 2: “When I was on my Dad's birthday chair they bit me very hard.”
Nurse Ehop: “So how do you get rid of them?”
Both girls. “WE DON’T KNOW! THEY WERE BORN HERE!”
One of these two ladies is going to make a very fine entomologist someday!
Girl 1: “When I talk my throat moves and when I walk it hurts nurse Ehop.”
Nurse Ehop: “When did this start?”
Girl 1: “It never happened before. It’s my first time having it.”
Girl 2 (with hiccups): “My throat is going in and out.”
Girl 1 (she sits down): “It hurts when I sit too, but not when I stand.”
Girl 2 (pulling up her pant leg): “I also have four scratches on my leg. I got them in bed when I was sleeping.”
Girl 1 (in shock exclaims): “MAYBE IT WAS AN EARWIG IN HER BED!”
Nurse Ehop: “What is that?”
Girl 1: “its dark, a very dark bug!”
Girl 2 (a little concerned now about the diagnosis): “I couldn't see it.”
Girl 1: “I'm learning about earwigs now, they are disgusting.”
Girl 2 (even more concerned): “Do they have hair?”
Girl 1 (being quite officious now): “No, they are soft and a little bit waterish. They climb on the bed at night and sneak up on your leg. You can't kill it with your shoe, it’s too hard. I had to get a paper towel and squish it with my hand and flush them down the toilet.”
Girl 2 (understanding now reflecting in her eyes): “I saw one on Sponge Bob and it went on a squirrel, then came in the house by itself.”
Girl 1 (continuing the lecture): “They're very tricky. They hide behind your back. Once they crawled all the way up my Mom’s leg when she was sleeping and bit her all the way up her leg.”
Girl 2: “When I was on my Dad's birthday chair they bit me very hard.”
Nurse Ehop: “So how do you get rid of them?”
Both girls. “WE DON’T KNOW! THEY WERE BORN HERE!”
One of these two ladies is going to make a very fine entomologist someday!
Friday, October 17, 2008
All I Want for Christmas
Ian and Miguel (names are always changed to protect the innocent), a pair of first grade boys, shuffled into my office today. Ian in obvious pain was bent at the waste holding his knee while Miguel tried his best to support his hunched over friend.
“Nurfe Ehop, Nurfe Ehop,” Miguel exclaimed as he sidled by me and dumped Ian sans ceremony half on the nearest cot and half on the floor. “Ian is hurf.”
“Let’s take a look,” I said as I rearranged Ian more comfortably. “What happened to your knee Ian?”
“I have a boo boo, I tripped on a lod at nite,” said Ian.
Miguel jumped in and tried to explain what happened. “We do campf , we’re tiger scoufs, we was in the dark wif flashlights and he fell.”
I could barely understand anything Miguel said because he had so many front teeth missing! “Miguel,” I asked, “what happened to all your front teeth?”
“They came ouf,” he said. “One came ouf wif a toofbrush and two came ouf when I fell.” “Oh yea,” he added, “my teafer took one ouf and my Mom took one ouf.”
“My, you lost a lot of teeth,” I said doing my best to suppress the smile that threatened my professional demeanor.
“Yea,” he continued, “buf two are growing back, buf more haf to come ouf fer Christmaf.”
“Why?” I asked.
“They’re no good,” he replied. “I hope I kin grow more cause I can’t eat my candy to good thif way and my Mom said she mighf haf to buy me baby food.” “What does thaf mean Nurfe Ehop!!??”
I love my job.
“Nurfe Ehop, Nurfe Ehop,” Miguel exclaimed as he sidled by me and dumped Ian sans ceremony half on the nearest cot and half on the floor. “Ian is hurf.”
“Let’s take a look,” I said as I rearranged Ian more comfortably. “What happened to your knee Ian?”
“I have a boo boo, I tripped on a lod at nite,” said Ian.
Miguel jumped in and tried to explain what happened. “We do campf , we’re tiger scoufs, we was in the dark wif flashlights and he fell.”
I could barely understand anything Miguel said because he had so many front teeth missing! “Miguel,” I asked, “what happened to all your front teeth?”
“They came ouf,” he said. “One came ouf wif a toofbrush and two came ouf when I fell.” “Oh yea,” he added, “my teafer took one ouf and my Mom took one ouf.”
“My, you lost a lot of teeth,” I said doing my best to suppress the smile that threatened my professional demeanor.
“Yea,” he continued, “buf two are growing back, buf more haf to come ouf fer Christmaf.”
“Why?” I asked.
“They’re no good,” he replied. “I hope I kin grow more cause I can’t eat my candy to good thif way and my Mom said she mighf haf to buy me baby food.” “What does thaf mean Nurfe Ehop!!??”
I love my job.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Planes and Boats, Boats and Planes
I am totally engrossed when having a conversation with Kindergarteners. Their leaps of logic and topic transitions require the utmost focus and concentration. Once you start them taking be prepared for anything! The following is a conversation I had today with two kindergarten boys.
Two kindergarten boys came trooping into my office this morning. They always travel in pairs to my office, it is the buddy system. The logic I think (or should I say hope) is that two will go astray less likely then one.
“Hello boys,” I said. “Is someone of you injured today?”
One boy pointed to a small red bite on his arm. “Sompin bit me on my arm Nurse Ehop.”
“I didn’t see his arm get bit,” the other boy chimed in, “but he said it crawled on him on the bus this morning.”
I sat the two boys down. “It really does not look too bad, where do you live?” I asked to distract him while I took care of his wound.
The flood gates opened. “I live in a white house on a yellow brick road,” he said, “and my Mom and Dad live there too and my Grandpa and Grandma,” he continued to elaborate, “and my cousins and some animals.”
“Oh my, that is a big family you live with,” I encouraged him.
“My Dad works only on Sundays in American line,” he pontificated. “He moves a plane around with a car.” He looked up and thought a moment. “Oh I forgot,” onward he spoke, “he has two works, he’s a police too.”
His little buddy not being about to stand it anymore that the first boy was doing all the talking quickly blurted out, “I’m going to be a soldier that has boats with an airport on it!”
And as quickly as the conversation started, it ended. Seldom are there true transitional endings to my daily conversations with the kids. I did however have to stopped the pair shortly after on their way back to class. It seems a little argument broke out concerning which was better, boats… or planes?
Two kindergarten boys came trooping into my office this morning. They always travel in pairs to my office, it is the buddy system. The logic I think (or should I say hope) is that two will go astray less likely then one.
“Hello boys,” I said. “Is someone of you injured today?”
One boy pointed to a small red bite on his arm. “Sompin bit me on my arm Nurse Ehop.”
“I didn’t see his arm get bit,” the other boy chimed in, “but he said it crawled on him on the bus this morning.”
I sat the two boys down. “It really does not look too bad, where do you live?” I asked to distract him while I took care of his wound.
The flood gates opened. “I live in a white house on a yellow brick road,” he said, “and my Mom and Dad live there too and my Grandpa and Grandma,” he continued to elaborate, “and my cousins and some animals.”
“Oh my, that is a big family you live with,” I encouraged him.
“My Dad works only on Sundays in American line,” he pontificated. “He moves a plane around with a car.” He looked up and thought a moment. “Oh I forgot,” onward he spoke, “he has two works, he’s a police too.”
His little buddy not being about to stand it anymore that the first boy was doing all the talking quickly blurted out, “I’m going to be a soldier that has boats with an airport on it!”
And as quickly as the conversation started, it ended. Seldom are there true transitional endings to my daily conversations with the kids. I did however have to stopped the pair shortly after on their way back to class. It seems a little argument broke out concerning which was better, boats… or planes?
More Career Choices
For today's survey I asked the kids coming through my office what they want to be when they grow up.
Girl (2nd Grade): “I want to be a singer.”
Nurse Ehop: “Do you practice?”
Girl: “Yes, I get out my brush and stand on my bed and sing in the mirror.”
This boy got caught lying to Nurse Ehop a few days ago about being sick. He came back for a bandaid today. His answer:
Boy (2nd Grade): “I’m going to be a kid that doesn’t lie.”
Two boys together, in second grade:
Boy 1: “I am going to be a scientist.”
Nurse Ehop: “What are you going to invent?”
Boy 1: “I am going to invent a porthole?”
Nurse Ehop: “What is a porthole?”
Boy 2: “I know! I know! It’s to get someplace else in a blink.”
Boy (2nd grade): “Either a police officer, lawyer, judge or the president. If I’m a police officer I like to taser people that run away.”
Girl (1st grade): “I want to be a veterinarian to take care of dogs so their owners will give me presents for it.”
Boy (1st grade): “I want to be a principle. If the kids don’t listen to me I am going to take all their money.”
Boy (1st grade): “My Dad makes me take the garbage out everyday, he said I might be doing that when I get big to make money.”
Nurse Ehop: “Is your report card good?”
Boy : Very proudly “NOPE!”
Girl (2nd Grade): “I want to be a singer.”
Nurse Ehop: “Do you practice?”
Girl: “Yes, I get out my brush and stand on my bed and sing in the mirror.”
This boy got caught lying to Nurse Ehop a few days ago about being sick. He came back for a bandaid today. His answer:
Boy (2nd Grade): “I’m going to be a kid that doesn’t lie.”
Two boys together, in second grade:
Boy 1: “I am going to be a scientist.”
Nurse Ehop: “What are you going to invent?”
Boy 1: “I am going to invent a porthole?”
Nurse Ehop: “What is a porthole?”
Boy 2: “I know! I know! It’s to get someplace else in a blink.”
Boy (2nd grade): “Either a police officer, lawyer, judge or the president. If I’m a police officer I like to taser people that run away.”
Girl (1st grade): “I want to be a veterinarian to take care of dogs so their owners will give me presents for it.”
Boy (1st grade): “I want to be a principle. If the kids don’t listen to me I am going to take all their money.”
Boy (1st grade): “My Dad makes me take the garbage out everyday, he said I might be doing that when I get big to make money.”
Nurse Ehop: “Is your report card good?”
Boy : Very proudly “NOPE!”
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Nurse Ratchet I am Not!
They come each day, begrudgingly, at their assigned times. The anxiety in their eyes is palpable. Their fear washes over me like the storm surge of a category 5 hurricane. It is time for the distribution of their daily meds.
I do not condone nor dispute the various reasons for which the children take the medications. My name is Nurse Ehop. I am the school nurse. It is my duty to see that each child take their prescribed dosage at their prescribed time. This does not mean I cannot make it a pleasant experience.
Medicine tastes awful. In the form a house sized pill the thought of swallowing it can also be daunting. I try to alleviate the anxiety in the children by providing a little entertainment. Today a first grade boy showed up for his meds. I had his pill in my hand.
I showed it to him and said, “Watch this pill carefully in my right hand.”
His eyes grew large in anticipation.
“Abracadabra,” I said as I invoked the tried and true magic phrase. I moved my hands in a swirl and used a little slight of hand (keep in mind it takes very little slight of hand to fool a first grader) to make the pill disappear from my right hand.
“Wow,” he said. His eyes were even larger then when I first showed him the duplex sized torpedo. “Now I don’t has to take my medicine!”
Not quite the effect I was looking for. I showed him that I made the pill disappear from my right had and reappear in my left. I was just getting ready to tell him that he needed to make the pill disappear by swallowing it. Before I could get the words out the first grader looked at me subdued.
“Nurse,” he said. “You must be a witch!”
I attributed his remark to that fact Halloween is around the corner. I of course preferred that he saw me as a magical fairy princess. Another hard learned lesson today for Nurse Ehop.
I do not condone nor dispute the various reasons for which the children take the medications. My name is Nurse Ehop. I am the school nurse. It is my duty to see that each child take their prescribed dosage at their prescribed time. This does not mean I cannot make it a pleasant experience.
Medicine tastes awful. In the form a house sized pill the thought of swallowing it can also be daunting. I try to alleviate the anxiety in the children by providing a little entertainment. Today a first grade boy showed up for his meds. I had his pill in my hand.
I showed it to him and said, “Watch this pill carefully in my right hand.”
His eyes grew large in anticipation.
“Abracadabra,” I said as I invoked the tried and true magic phrase. I moved my hands in a swirl and used a little slight of hand (keep in mind it takes very little slight of hand to fool a first grader) to make the pill disappear from my right hand.
“Wow,” he said. His eyes were even larger then when I first showed him the duplex sized torpedo. “Now I don’t has to take my medicine!”
Not quite the effect I was looking for. I showed him that I made the pill disappear from my right had and reappear in my left. I was just getting ready to tell him that he needed to make the pill disappear by swallowing it. Before I could get the words out the first grader looked at me subdued.
“Nurse,” he said. “You must be a witch!”
I attributed his remark to that fact Halloween is around the corner. I of course preferred that he saw me as a magical fairy princess. Another hard learned lesson today for Nurse Ehop.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Hard Earned Money
I took a Monday survey today and asked the kids, "Did you do anything to earn an allowance this weekend or did you just play?"
Boy (3rd grade): I don’t get one. I don’t do anything. I just watch SpongeBob on TV.
Boy (3rd grade): What’s an allowance?
Girl (3rd grade): I get three dollars for doing dishes and laundry.
Boy (2nd grade) Yes, I do and I get almost ten dollars fer my dog’s appointments every day. He has to go to the doctor every day because he eats too much and the doctor has to check him up.
Boy (1st grade): I’m not allowance to play my puter games cuz I didn’t do my homework.
Girl (1st grade): I get lowences for making my room look nice.
Girl (1st grade): My daddy gives me a nickel when I have to get stuff for him.
So I asked, “What kind of stuff?”
Girl: Oh, the paper, a drink of water, beer, snacks. I have lots of nickels but my Mommy says no more nickels.
Boy (3rd grade): I don’t get one. I don’t do anything. I just watch SpongeBob on TV.
Boy (3rd grade): What’s an allowance?
Girl (3rd grade): I get three dollars for doing dishes and laundry.
Boy (2nd grade) Yes, I do and I get almost ten dollars fer my dog’s appointments every day. He has to go to the doctor every day because he eats too much and the doctor has to check him up.
Boy (1st grade): I’m not allowance to play my puter games cuz I didn’t do my homework.
Girl (1st grade): I get lowences for making my room look nice.
Girl (1st grade): My daddy gives me a nickel when I have to get stuff for him.
So I asked, “What kind of stuff?”
Girl: Oh, the paper, a drink of water, beer, snacks. I have lots of nickels but my Mommy says no more nickels.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Friday is not Always Fun Day
Friday is test day and the children flee to my office in droves. These days can be just as tough as Mondays. The kids show up with a variety of somatic problems ranging from blistering math headaches to pre-science class stomach aches. Most demand that being sent home is the only sure cure.
The trick on these days is to catch the fakers and whisk them back to their tests. The easiest way to catch them is to leave the room with some sort of business to attend. I give the kids a few moments then I peek back around the corner. Sure enough a handful of the kids are up from their cots playing around.
No one lies to Nurse Ehop. They learn this early and they all know that if they lie to me they will not be believed or trusted the rest of their elementary school career. Which, if you remember as a child, feels like eternity!
I do feel sorry for some of the younger children. They get so upset taking test sometimes that they wet their pants. They come and whisper in my ear. I select some dry cloths from my pile, take their hand and inconspicuously head to the bathroom to change them. Three incidents already today. My pile of extra cloths is getting low this week.
The trick on these days is to catch the fakers and whisk them back to their tests. The easiest way to catch them is to leave the room with some sort of business to attend. I give the kids a few moments then I peek back around the corner. Sure enough a handful of the kids are up from their cots playing around.
No one lies to Nurse Ehop. They learn this early and they all know that if they lie to me they will not be believed or trusted the rest of their elementary school career. Which, if you remember as a child, feels like eternity!
I do feel sorry for some of the younger children. They get so upset taking test sometimes that they wet their pants. They come and whisper in my ear. I select some dry cloths from my pile, take their hand and inconspicuously head to the bathroom to change them. Three incidents already today. My pile of extra cloths is getting low this week.
Maverick or Sidekick?
In the spirit of the presidential campaign, there is debate from both sides whether a certain candidate is a Maverick or a Sidekick. I try to be very non partisan in my views when talking to the children but I thought it would be fun to see, without actually talking about the campaign, what the kids thought of these labels. My question for today to the children, “Would you rather be a Maverick or a Sidekick?”
Girl (kindergarten): I’m not allowed to kick, my little sister kicks me.
Boy (2nd grade): What would I have to look like.
Girl (1st grade): I don’t think my mommy will let me be that.
Girl (kindergarten): No, I don’t want to be that. I’m going to be a witch for Halloween.
Girl (kindergarten): I don’t want to tell you. I’m too scared.
Girl (kindergarten): I want to go now. (I guess she didn’t want to talk about it).
Group of first grade boys:
Boy 1: Is that dangerous?
Boy 2: No, it’s a superhero.
Boy 3: No it’s not it’s a cowboy.
Boy 4: I think it’s a game for you to play on the computer. I saw that in Wal-Mart one time.
Girl (kindergarten): I’m not allowed to kick, my little sister kicks me.
Boy (2nd grade): What would I have to look like.
Girl (1st grade): I don’t think my mommy will let me be that.
Girl (kindergarten): No, I don’t want to be that. I’m going to be a witch for Halloween.
Girl (kindergarten): I don’t want to tell you. I’m too scared.
Girl (kindergarten): I want to go now. (I guess she didn’t want to talk about it).
Group of first grade boys:
Boy 1: Is that dangerous?
Boy 2: No, it’s a superhero.
Boy 3: No it’s not it’s a cowboy.
Boy 4: I think it’s a game for you to play on the computer. I saw that in Wal-Mart one time.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Our Future Leaders on Conservation?
With the current gas prices, concerns about global warming and desire for energy indepedence I wondered what the children, our future leaders and scientists, thought about solutions to these concerns. I kept it simple with one question, "How can we save gas?"
Girl (2nd grade): I would buy a motorcycle.
Girl (2nd grade): I would make cars that run on sun
Girl (1st grade): My mom says my dad has enough gas for everybody’s car.
Well, that response sent the group of first graders in my office into a think tank frenzy! I was pummeled by the next set of responses.
Girl (1st grade): We can squeeze it up into a small ball.
Boy (1st grade): Well we can’t catch it when we are gassing.
Girl (1st grade): I don’t want to save it in my house cuz – ooohhh it doesn't smell good.
Boy (1st grade): My grandpa has very loud gas and my grandma hollers at him.
Girl (1st grade): I just run away when I smell it in my room and I hide my head under the pillow.
Are they onto a new alternative fuel source that our scientists of today have not yet thought of, or should we wait until they have a few chemistry classes under their belts to work out the details. I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Girl (2nd grade): I would buy a motorcycle.
Girl (2nd grade): I would make cars that run on sun
Girl (1st grade): My mom says my dad has enough gas for everybody’s car.
Well, that response sent the group of first graders in my office into a think tank frenzy! I was pummeled by the next set of responses.
Girl (1st grade): We can squeeze it up into a small ball.
Boy (1st grade): Well we can’t catch it when we are gassing.
Girl (1st grade): I don’t want to save it in my house cuz – ooohhh it doesn't smell good.
Boy (1st grade): My grandpa has very loud gas and my grandma hollers at him.
Girl (1st grade): I just run away when I smell it in my room and I hide my head under the pillow.
Are they onto a new alternative fuel source that our scientists of today have not yet thought of, or should we wait until they have a few chemistry classes under their belts to work out the details. I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Oh Danny Boy
Busy morning, I was at capacity. The cots were full of kids with aches and kids with scrapes. Some aches real and some not, but all must be triaged and attended. These are the times I rely on my years of nursing experience. My tour of duty as a nurse, extensive - my instincts, honed - my judgment, beyond reproach.
Sarah came in holding her stomach. “Cot four,” I told her “and lie still until the ache goes away” I said sagely.
Isaiah, with a tear in his eye, showed me a scrape on his elbow. “Do you want the Scooby bandaid or the bacon and eggs bandaid?” I asked. Smiling, he selected Scooby and I released him back to class.
Danny, a kindergartener, wandered into the office in the middle of the triage mayhem. Appeared happy, no apparent aches, not bleeding, possible frequent flyer my sharp instincts deduced. “Have a seat over there Danny,” I said as I noticed all the cots were full.
Frowning he looked at the stool and then back at me. “That chair looks too hard,” he said. “Can I sit in that softest chair over there?”
I followed his pointing finger to my desk chair. “Yes that would be fine,” I said. “Just stay out of the desk and don’t play on the computer.” “I’ll be with you in a moment,” I directed him as I turned back to another child coming through the door.
Finally the morning rush subsided. Danny sat happily on my soft padded office chair. His little legs swung back and forth and he twisted this way and that in my chair.
“Well,” I turned to Danny. “You don’t appear to be sick or hurt.”
“No, I not sick.”
“Are you skipping class then?” I asked as I thought for sure he would become a future frequent flyer.
“Nope, that’s a bad thing to do,” he responded with that same happy smile.
“Ok,” I said. “I give up, what’s wrong with you.
“I peed my pants.”
“What, no, I mean, here, get up, I mean, sit, I mean stand,” I blurted with the shock of realization.
Danny hopped off the chair. I took his hand, picked out some dry cloths from my spare cloths pile and ushered him down to the bathroom to change him. On the way back to the office I dropped him off at his classroom and then rushed back to inspect my office chair. Touching and smelling the fabric I confirmed the evidence with disbelief.
School nurse zero, Kindergartener one.
Sarah came in holding her stomach. “Cot four,” I told her “and lie still until the ache goes away” I said sagely.
Isaiah, with a tear in his eye, showed me a scrape on his elbow. “Do you want the Scooby bandaid or the bacon and eggs bandaid?” I asked. Smiling, he selected Scooby and I released him back to class.
Danny, a kindergartener, wandered into the office in the middle of the triage mayhem. Appeared happy, no apparent aches, not bleeding, possible frequent flyer my sharp instincts deduced. “Have a seat over there Danny,” I said as I noticed all the cots were full.
Frowning he looked at the stool and then back at me. “That chair looks too hard,” he said. “Can I sit in that softest chair over there?”
I followed his pointing finger to my desk chair. “Yes that would be fine,” I said. “Just stay out of the desk and don’t play on the computer.” “I’ll be with you in a moment,” I directed him as I turned back to another child coming through the door.
Finally the morning rush subsided. Danny sat happily on my soft padded office chair. His little legs swung back and forth and he twisted this way and that in my chair.
“Well,” I turned to Danny. “You don’t appear to be sick or hurt.”
“No, I not sick.”
“Are you skipping class then?” I asked as I thought for sure he would become a future frequent flyer.
“Nope, that’s a bad thing to do,” he responded with that same happy smile.
“Ok,” I said. “I give up, what’s wrong with you.
“I peed my pants.”
“What, no, I mean, here, get up, I mean, sit, I mean stand,” I blurted with the shock of realization.
Danny hopped off the chair. I took his hand, picked out some dry cloths from my spare cloths pile and ushered him down to the bathroom to change him. On the way back to the office I dropped him off at his classroom and then rushed back to inspect my office chair. Touching and smelling the fabric I confirmed the evidence with disbelief.
School nurse zero, Kindergartener one.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
When I am the President
Today's survey I asked the kids that came through my office what they would do if they were the President of the United States.
Girl (2nd grade): I would take my Mom on a trip.
Girl (2nd grade): I would tell them to free the slaves.
Boy (1st grade): I would eat and play on the computer.
Boy (3rd grade): I would make lots of money.
Boy (1st grade): I would make everything free so everybody could save money.
Girl (1st grade): I would make trees and plants with no bugs.
Boy (1st grade): I would get new eyeglasses.
Boy (3rd grade): I would make people clean up everything so they would have a clean house.
Girl (3rd grade): I would make the world a happy place to live.
Girl (3rd grade): I would not put candy in every store because that's what causes children to have rotten teeth.
Boy (2nd grade): I would get robots to stay with kids.
Girl (1st grade): I would make my Mom and Dad eat carrots.
Girl (2nd grade): I would take my Mom on a trip.
Girl (2nd grade): I would tell them to free the slaves.
Boy (1st grade): I would eat and play on the computer.
Boy (3rd grade): I would make lots of money.
Boy (1st grade): I would make everything free so everybody could save money.
Girl (1st grade): I would make trees and plants with no bugs.
Boy (1st grade): I would get new eyeglasses.
Boy (3rd grade): I would make people clean up everything so they would have a clean house.
Girl (3rd grade): I would make the world a happy place to live.
Girl (3rd grade): I would not put candy in every store because that's what causes children to have rotten teeth.
Boy (2nd grade): I would get robots to stay with kids.
Girl (1st grade): I would make my Mom and Dad eat carrots.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Frequent Flyer
They show up often. Two or three times a week with various symptoms when there is a pending test. I almost have an intrinsic knowledge of the school’s class schedule based on their prompt fly-ins. Today it was a language arts test. “My stomach started to hurt after lunch just as I was walking in the classroom door,” Marie announced as she walked into my office slightly doubled over and rubbing her stomach. Yep, 12:45, Mrs. Wilson’s Language Arts class I thought to myself checking the wall clock.
Stomach aches are a tricky symptom. They are like soft tissue pain, you cannot really identify exactly the root cause or how bad the pain is (or if it even exists). These frequent flyers are good. Marie was a gold member.
Marie rested for a few minutes and was up and around chatting with some of the other wards strewn around on the cots. I decided to send this little bird back to class and sure enough another wave of stomach aches doubled her over as she asked “Can I lay here till the bell rings?” “Well OK, but try to lie still,” I told her as I checked the clock to confirm the test was pretty much over anyway. Yes, she was good, as I resigned myself and turned my attention back to my paper work.
Stomach aches are a tricky symptom. They are like soft tissue pain, you cannot really identify exactly the root cause or how bad the pain is (or if it even exists). These frequent flyers are good. Marie was a gold member.
Marie rested for a few minutes and was up and around chatting with some of the other wards strewn around on the cots. I decided to send this little bird back to class and sure enough another wave of stomach aches doubled her over as she asked “Can I lay here till the bell rings?” “Well OK, but try to lie still,” I told her as I checked the clock to confirm the test was pretty much over anyway. Yes, she was good, as I resigned myself and turned my attention back to my paper work.
It's Better then a Poke in the Eye
"My cousin poked me in the eye fer nuthin," Carlos said as he came into my office holding his eye as if it were about to fall out of the socket. I laid the kindergartener on a cot and applied a cool compress to his eye. His eye look normal to me but he was still holding it like it was going to fall out on the floor.
Getting to the root of the incident I called the teacher and asked her to send Carlos’s cousin down to my office. The teacher showed up herself with the cousin in tow. He was already crying, a sure sign of guilt from my experience! Seeing his cousin Carlos laying on the cot with his eyeball about to cascade out of its socket on to the floor he fessed up immediately. “I was trying to tell him a secret in his ear but he was looking at something else so I poked him in the eye for attention,” the cousin confessed.
After some apologies I sent them off to class holding hands. As I watched them march off I saw the cousin again trying to tell Carlos another secret. My job was done here, I could only hoped Carlos would pay more attention when his cousin told him a secret.
Getting to the root of the incident I called the teacher and asked her to send Carlos’s cousin down to my office. The teacher showed up herself with the cousin in tow. He was already crying, a sure sign of guilt from my experience! Seeing his cousin Carlos laying on the cot with his eyeball about to cascade out of its socket on to the floor he fessed up immediately. “I was trying to tell him a secret in his ear but he was looking at something else so I poked him in the eye for attention,” the cousin confessed.
After some apologies I sent them off to class holding hands. As I watched them march off I saw the cousin again trying to tell Carlos another secret. My job was done here, I could only hoped Carlos would pay more attention when his cousin told him a secret.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Concerning a Career Choice
A kindergartener’s response to future career choices:
“When I grow up I’m going to be a cooker and animal doctor.”
I’ll let you all ponder that one.
“When I grow up I’m going to be a cooker and animal doctor.”
I’ll let you all ponder that one.
On Relationships
I overheard this tidbit of wisdom while following a group of 1st graders on their way to the library. A boy was being teased by other classmates “Ha, ha, Christina’s your girlfriend”. “NO she’s not!” the boy responded to the teasing. Just as he was getting ready to let his classmates really have it Christina stepped in. With a classy and sophisticated air she informed them all “Naturally we’re like fake brothers and sisters.”
My Dad is Smarter then Yours
Finally I have some breathing room to talk to the kids after the typical Monday morning rush. I sat around with several 2nd graders in a group talking about things that happen at home.
One 2nd grader was telling another that “My Dad is smarter then yours”. I looked at the boy and asked him tell me about his Dad. He said, “His name is Juan and he learnded every grade. He’s a computer guy”.
Next to this boy was a smaller boy and he was trying very had to interrupt by waving his hand to speak. Not getting any attention the smaller boy moved in front of the group and said “Sophie is the smartest one in my house cause he scratches the door to potty and he wipes hisself on the grass”.
Jennie was also emphatic about having her turn “My sister is smarter, my Mom asks her how to spell.”
Enjoy your morning.
One 2nd grader was telling another that “My Dad is smarter then yours”. I looked at the boy and asked him tell me about his Dad. He said, “His name is Juan and he learnded every grade. He’s a computer guy”.
Next to this boy was a smaller boy and he was trying very had to interrupt by waving his hand to speak. Not getting any attention the smaller boy moved in front of the group and said “Sophie is the smartest one in my house cause he scratches the door to potty and he wipes hisself on the grass”.
Jennie was also emphatic about having her turn “My sister is smarter, my Mom asks her how to spell.”
Enjoy your morning.
It's Monday!
It’s Monday and that can mean only one thing around my office. Kids, lots of kids, grumpy and tired. Monday’s are like the full moon of the school days. Kids are just getting use to playing and staying up a little later on the weekend and then Sunday night rolls along. Getting to bed early is a bit more difficult after being keyed up all weekend. Having less sleep then usual on Monday mornings kids are crawling out of bed late and may be too tired to eat a good breakfast.
This is where I come in. My name is Nurse Ehop. I work in the trenches. The walking wounded pour into my office. Juice, Juice, the cry goes out. We need more juice. Strewn across the cots the casualties are pumped full of juice. Each ward being carefully cross matched to the proper juicy juice box flavor, slowly they revive. The vacant look gone from their eyes they are released back to duty. Reluctantly they head back to the frontlines. Some the call of duty is Science, some English and others….MATH! My job complete, I sit back to tell my diary their stories, until, the next wave.
This is where I come in. My name is Nurse Ehop. I work in the trenches. The walking wounded pour into my office. Juice, Juice, the cry goes out. We need more juice. Strewn across the cots the casualties are pumped full of juice. Each ward being carefully cross matched to the proper juicy juice box flavor, slowly they revive. The vacant look gone from their eyes they are released back to duty. Reluctantly they head back to the frontlines. Some the call of duty is Science, some English and others….MATH! My job complete, I sit back to tell my diary their stories, until, the next wave.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Who Should be President?
I did a survey this morning to see what the children think about this election. Here are their responses:
Kid #1: I want President George Washington.
Kid #2: I heard my Dad say he wants Cane.
Kid #3: Hmmmmm.... Belinda Garcia, my grandma has her picture on a post in the front yard.
Kid #4: No puedo entender.
Kid #5: That lady,but I'm not 18 yrs. old and you have to be 18 and up to say.
Kid #6: Brocolli Obama.
Kid #7: (very nervously) Do I have to do that?
Kid #8: ORock Obama
Two Boys sitting together arguing about the question:
Boy #1: Lincoln..
Boy #2: No, no, no, Batman's better
Kid #1: I want President George Washington.
Kid #2: I heard my Dad say he wants Cane.
Kid #3: Hmmmmm.... Belinda Garcia, my grandma has her picture on a post in the front yard.
Kid #4: No puedo entender.
Kid #5: That lady,but I'm not 18 yrs. old and you have to be 18 and up to say.
Kid #6: Brocolli Obama.
Kid #7: (very nervously) Do I have to do that?
Kid #8: ORock Obama
Two Boys sitting together arguing about the question:
Boy #1: Lincoln..
Boy #2: No, no, no, Batman's better
Who Am I?
I am a professional RN who has worked in many areas of professional health care. My career has spanned the emergency room, supervising an operating room and psychiatric nursing. I retired about the time my grandson turned 5 and went off to kindergarten. My grandson was insistent on riding the school bus. So as an overprotective grandmother I followed the school bus to make sure he reached his classroom.
After a few days I began to know the people at the school. The principle found out I was an RN and said as long as your coming everyday, we need a school nurse. And 7 years later I have never regretted the decision.
Before becoming the school nurse my grandson called me Ehop for no reason I can give you. Since he also attended the school all the kids soon came to know me as Nurse Ehop. Now you know my story, and now I will tell you the stories I hear from the kids.
After a few days I began to know the people at the school. The principle found out I was an RN and said as long as your coming everyday, we need a school nurse. And 7 years later I have never regretted the decision.
Before becoming the school nurse my grandson called me Ehop for no reason I can give you. Since he also attended the school all the kids soon came to know me as Nurse Ehop. Now you know my story, and now I will tell you the stories I hear from the kids.
Welcome
Hello, my name is Nurse Ehop. This is the name the children call me at the elementary school where I work as the school nurse. I invite you to set aside the complexities of life for a few moments and enjoy a fresh perspectives on life from the wonderful young minds of the kids I talk to every day. I hope these stories lift your spirits as they lift mine each day.
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