Beware the Earwig

I truly never know what kind of conversation I am going to have each day when the kids show up at my office. Here is a very interesting conversation I had with two second grade girls today.

Girl 1: “When I talk my throat moves and when I walk it hurts nurse Ehop.”

Nurse Ehop: “When did this start?”

Girl 1: “It never happened before. It’s my first time having it.”

Girl 2 (with hiccups): “My throat is going in and out.”

Girl 1 (she sits down): “It hurts when I sit too, but not when I stand.”

Girl 2 (pulling up her pant leg): “I also have four scratches on my leg. I got them in bed when I was sleeping.”

Girl 1 (in shock exclaims): “MAYBE IT WAS AN EARWIG IN HER BED!”

Nurse Ehop: “What is that?”

Girl 1: “its dark, a very dark bug!”

Girl 2 (a little concerned now about the diagnosis): “I couldn't see it.”

Girl 1: “I'm learning about earwigs now, they are disgusting.”

Girl 2 (even more concerned): “Do they have hair?”

Girl 1 (being quite officious now): “No, they are soft and a little bit waterish. They climb on the bed at night and sneak up on your leg. You can't kill it with your shoe, it’s too hard. I had to get a paper towel and squish it with my hand and flush them down the toilet.”

Girl 2 (understanding now reflecting in her eyes): “I saw one on Sponge Bob and it went on a squirrel, then came in the house by itself.”

Girl 1 (continuing the lecture): “They're very tricky. They hide behind your back. Once they crawled all the way up my Mom’s leg when she was sleeping and bit her all the way up her leg.”

Girl 2: “When I was on my Dad's birthday chair they bit me very hard.”

Nurse Ehop: “So how do you get rid of them?”

Both girls. “WE DON’T KNOW! THEY WERE BORN HERE!”

One of these two ladies is going to make a very fine entomologist someday!